I have been a blabber-mouth my whole life. Talking even more when nervous, I was always getting into hot water for talking too much or saying the wrong thing or blabbing a secret.
I remember when I was in about 3rd or 4th grade, wishing with all my heart that I could be quiet and shy like that little blond girl on my bus. She didn't say embarrassing things. She didn't get in trouble for giggling too much in class.
Looking back, she didn't have much of a personality either but I didn't see the big picture back then.
There were some real tough years back then, trying to be something I just wasn't and wishing the impossible. Tough years.
I also remember in 8th grade, I accidentally blabbed my best friend's secret. I don't even remember what it was but she was livid at me and told me she didn't want to be my friend anymore. She felt betrayed and I felt lower than a snake's belly.
When Molly started her own round of getting in trouble for blabbing or giggling or disrupting class or clowning, it brought me right back. Although, her teacher called it working on "self control" which I thought was an excellent way to put it.
All of us, no matter what age, work on our self control. But I remember saying to her teacher that what Molly has is Joie de Vivre and it will serve her well in life. That Joy became the other side of the scale as we focused on her "self control" and in no way did I want to squash that in her.
I am not as much of a blabber mouth as I used to be although I can still get pretty cranked up when the time is right. Although, I still say stupid things that I wish I could take back.
But, I wish I hadn't thought of my extrovertedness as a negative thing when I was a kid. After all, I was goofy and fun and exuberant and entertaining and to be around. Just like Molly.
I wish I had just been told I had Joie de Vivre.