I don't have much of a relationship with my father. In fact, I would probably admit to no relationship and some might even say we are estranged. Although, that term seems to connote some sort of cataclysmic occurrence which breaks the relationship or puts it under severe stress. That isn't what happened. We just drifted physically and emotionally apart and neither of us seemed to care enough to stop it.
I know. Save this stuff for the shrink couch! I don't mean to be whiney, it really is just what it is but it does make me sad for what might have been. We all have our own side of the story and I am sure he does too although I have never heard it. All you can do is shrug.
My point is I always wanted to make sure that my kids had a father, someone physically and emotional available and approachable who could openly profess all that unconditional love that parents are supposed to dump on their kids.
Well. Jake is a committed, loving dad. He is there for the kids. Physically and emotionally. He doesn't hover but encourages them to reach. I look at Molly and Jake and I see pals. And, I am so very grateful.
Sometimes the best therapy is just seeing the pattern change and creating a very different reality for the next generation.