Potty training readiness quiz

I found this great quiz for potty training readiness from Elizabeth Pantley and her book the No-Cry Potty Training Solution.

Potty training is easier and happens faster if your child is truly ready in all three areas: physical, cognitive and social. But the big question is: how do you know when your child is ready? If you have never traveled this road before, you likely don’t even know what signs to look for. Take this quiz to find out where your child is on the readiness spectrum.

1. I can tell by watching that my child is wetting or filling his diaper:

a. Never.

b. Sometimes.

c. Usually.

2. My toddler's diaper needs to be changed:

a. Frequently, every hour or two.

b. It varies.

c. Every two to three hours--sometimes less frequently.

3. My child understands the meaning of wet, dry, clean, wash, sit, and go:

a. No.

b. Some of them.

c. Yes.

4. When my child communicates her needs, she:

a. Says or signs a few basic words and I guess the rest.

b. Gets her essential points across to me.

c. Has a good vocabulary and talks to me in sentences.

5. If I give my child a simple direction, such as, "put this in the toy box," she:

a. Doesn't understand or doesn't follow directions.

b. Will do it if I coach or help her.

c. Understands me and does it.

6. My child can take his pants off and put them on:

a. No.

b. With help he can.

c. Yes.

7. When I read a book to my child, he:

a. He ignores me.

b. Sometimes listens, sometimes wanders off.

c. Sits, listens and enjoys the story.

8. My toddler wants to do things “all by myself”:

a. Never.

b. Sometimes.

c. All the time!

9. I think that it's the right time to begin potty training:

a. No.

b. I'm undecided.

c. Yes.

Total the number of responses for each letter:

a. __________

b. __________

c. __________

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Most answers are a:

Wait.

Your little one doesn't seem to be ready just yet. Test again in a month or two.

Most answers are b:

Time for pre-potty training--get ready!

Your child is not quite ready for active training, but you can take many steps to prepare your toddler for the future. Gradual introduction of terms and ideas will make potty training easier when the time comes.

Most answers are c:

Your toddler is ready to use the potty!

It's time to start your potty training adventure. Good luck, and have fun!

Are you between two scores?

Just like any parenting situation, there are choices to make. If your child is hovering between two categories, it's time to put your intuition to good use. Your knowledge of your own child can direct you toward the right plan of action.

Piddling

I caught Shea piddling into the milk box on our front porch.

A discussion ensued.

Enough said.

Potty training; is this it?

All has been rosy on the potty training front and I realize I haven't given an update lately.

Shea is a big boy now. He wears underwear MOST of the time and is getting that he can point his willy and pee outside. I never thought that had to be learned. I always thought little boys just knew that innately.

I have said ridiculous things like, "Hey Shea. You can point it like a fire hose!" Huh? But, he is getting it now.

Yesterday was our traditional Bubble lady day. He does not wear a pull up during the days anymore although in the car I bring the potty chair just in case.

We took a little pre-session walk in the this neighborhood pocket park with trails where Shea almost completely didn't pee on himself. A little wet but proud we headed into have his Speech appointment.

Afterward we were getting ready to go and Shea said, "Mom. Gotta go. Come help."

Sure enough, under his own volition, he parked himself on Bubbles toilet and took care of #2. I gave him a little wipe and he was on his way.

Slightly stunned Bubble and I were rooting and cheering but it appeared that Shea didn't need that. He's got it down. He doesn't need a cheering section anymore apparently.

So, all is rosy happiness here. The thing I had been worrying about for a LONG time is finally happening. 5 to 5 1/2 is a fine time to be potty trained, right before Kindergarten.

Funny how worrying just doesn't make anything happen any faster. Some things are on their own schedule.

So, now I worry about if he will be able to get his pants down and up all alone. But, for now it's summer and I am still celebrating.

Potty talk: an apology

I dearly hope this will be the last time that I apologize for being potty training obsessed. I know that I will read back some day and think, "Sheesh, Shell, too much potty talk! How over the top mommy can you get?".

In fact, all this detail may bite me someday if Shea ever reads back.

But I am euphoric because for 2 solid years I have been twitting about this and probably longer. I genuinely felt I was going to be searching out larger and larger pull ups for my kid. I mean he's 5+!

So, now that it is happening? I want every post to be a potty post. I want to give excruciating detail, like:

Today, I took Shea to the city in big boy pants. He peed at Bubbles. AND, he pooped in the restroom at TARGET!!!!

See what I mean?

Oh well, I know you are all a forgiving bunch. And, I want all those other twitting mothers (and dads) out there who are so very worried that their kid will never get it; to just hang in there.

Big boy potty: reaching for the stars

Today Shea has ESY (Summer School) for the morning. Only 1 1/2 hours.

I thought today I would try something a little different; bring him to school with no pull up, just big boy pants and put his potty chair in the little bathroom there.

I thought I would talk it through and make it sounds pretty exciting then do the same for the teachers.

I mean, it's only an hour and a half!

He is doing so well here at home I thought I should reach for the stars a bit.

Wish us luck!

Update: He stayed dry and held it for the whole time. But, then had an accident on the playground. It's ok. That is pretty darn good control.

Chance; my little wizzer

I would like to welcome old pal, Mitch, as a guest blogger! It appears obvious that all my potty training talk inspired him to share this story.

Thanks Mitch!

XOX

As you have all heard “time” has a way of easing what at one time may have been an embarrassing moment and changing it to something we can actually laugh at and share with others who may be going through rough times.

Years ago… before the really cool pull-ups….The time of the Underoo’s, you know, “Underroos are fun to wear…Something super new in underwear”…Okay maybe not that long ago but sounded good didn’t it!

My wife and I were in the midst of potty training our son Chance and were in the mode of continually asking, “hey bud do you need to go potty” and his response was usually “Nope”, (and we would wonder to ourselves how can a kid so long with out going to the bathroom?) and he would continue on doing what ever he was doing, but we kept him in ear shot or line of sight….At least most of the time.

Well on one of those days that kind of fell into the “we kept him in ear shot or line of sight” and “At least most of the time”, I was working in my garage, head under hood of my continually broken (as my wife would say “You had to have it”) Italian sports car. I get a phone call from my next door neighbor, “Hey Mitch do you have any idea where Chance is?” my response of course, “Ya he is right hereeeee” (Head looking around and to my head under the hood amazement he was not), His response, “Nice try, you might want to look in the front yard but be quiet about it so you do not scare him”. I came around the corner and Chance was standing on the huge boulder in our garden pants to ankles (Booty free to the wind ) and was peeing on the Alaska weeping cedar (And thinking to my self now I know he does not really go along time with out going pee he gives it to Nature) .

I waited for him to finish and crawl down off the rock and asked him "What's up with peeing on the tree", he said "I learned it from Papa" (Outta the mouth of babes) later I called my dad and asked what was up with that? He said that my Mother yells at him (my dad) for tracking grass into the house when he mows so he uses the back yard trees (Way to much information I know but part of the story!) So I explained to Chance in my best Dadonese voice, "I really appreciate the peeing outside buddy and I think for a boy it is actually pretty cool, but in the front yard where the entire cul-de-sac could see may not be the best place"

(While in the corner of my eye I see my neighbor who called laughing in his front window). Well I thought that would emphasize the use of the inside bathroom and no more worries…. (One week later) I hear my wife calling for me from inside the house, (Of course my head under the hood and working on the car she has grown to loath), “Mitchell Allen do you have any idea where your son is”…..Standard response “Ya he is right hereeeee”, (Knowing in my “I am in so much trouble” mind, because I really had no idea and by the tone she does). I walk into the house, travel to the kitchen, head hung low waiting for the “Hell” I knew was awaiting me. To my surprise there stood my very pregnant wife with a grin from ear to ear, “Oh my GOD isn’t he just the cutest” as I follow her eyes from our kitchen through the window, there again in his glory, stands Chance my little whizzer peeing on the little cedar in the back yard, smiling at us, so proud of himself…. I thought when I spoke with him just a week earlier that I had implied to him to use the inside bathroom (Oops there was my mistake assumed a 2 and ½ year old spoke and fully understood Dadonese {which as all Dads need to understand when assume is broken down the word assume puts the ass into the u and the me}) He was the smarter one he did exactly what I asked, he just moved to the cedar in the backyard and out of the cul-de-sac!… My wife was right he is the cutest!........ And lucky for me that day Chances charm and cuteness kept me outta the dog house and made me realize it was time to close the cars hood and go play with my son!

I Love that kid!!!!


On a final note:
For the guy readers who only saw “Italian Sports Car”, if you ever…ever… think about buying the (You had to have it!) one of the fastest cars you have ever driven, massive horse power, quickest turning, Stop on a dime, gas guzzlers built in Maranello, Italy, think again….(Buy German!!!!)… Just kidding. Never let your hobbies or work keep you from the most important things in the world…Your Family. (I will save that explanation for another Blog)

Potty training: but don't jinx it!

I am reluctant to even mention how good the potty training is going.

Just when I start bragging, Shea will have a relapse.

But the direction is good. Improvements are being made. The last 2 weeks have been pivotal.

Underwear aren't totally disturbing and automatically ignored. He is flirting with the concept of keeping underwear on, around his ankles during a potty trip. Although, he is still taking them completely off before, he is having fewer and fewer accidents.

We even took the potty chair with us for a little dinner gathering at a friends house the other night.

I feel like I am tip toeing through eggshells, quietly nurturing this new attitude and aptitude.

But inside I am yodeling from the tallest peak!

"He's potty training! He's potty training!" Hurrah!

Have I bought my last Costco size box of Pull ups? Well, maybe not.

But Hurrah anyway!

Doesn't matter how you do it...just do it!

I met with a new client today who I had been saying good morning to for months, we just hadn't been formally introduced yet. But, I have been smiling and saying hello to this friendly, happy face just because she was a friendly, happy face.

Today, when I visited her house for our meeting and she opened her door, we recognized each other immediately and felt like we already sort of knew each other and proceeded to have an excellent meeting.

Great ice breaker by the way and one of the good sides of living in a small town.

She has a little girl, maybe 31/2, who chattered and flitted around as we talked business. At one point, we were outside and the girl whipped down her panties and had a perfectly acceptable potty right there in the driveway.

I, naturally pro-potty, cheered and congratulated her while her mother was mortified at her kid. I just had to laugh.

I explained that my kid hasn't gotten the hang of pulling down his underwear yet so that is our summer project.

She admitted that her husband and son get to pee outside all the time and the little girl must be feeling jealous. Who can blame her?

What is the good of living in the country if you can't pee outside when you want to?

Potty training euphoria

Shea has gotten the potty down for both #1 & #2!

Although, he is still confused by the underpants variable.

Doesn't get the peep hole. Doesn't get how easy they can come down. Just doesn't get it.

So he is the pantless wonder, running around with bare tush, etc. and I really don't care. I haven't changed a diaper in a week.

Give him some time and those underpants may not be so darn confusing.

Euphoria indeed!

Potty update: the penny has dropped

In the last 4 days, Shea has gone from 0 to about 35 MPH on the potty training front.

He had some huge successes over the weekend and he is very proud of himself.

For example: he is going into the bathroom and sitting and peeing on the little potty chair WITHOUT being prompted. I will go into the bathroom and there is a little bit of bizness that needs to be poured into the big potty. Evidence that he went in by himself!

When we say, "Now Shea. Don't pee all over the couch, ok?" He doesn't, or at least, so far.

He is still flummoxed by the pulling down the pants part and that can get a little messy although adorable as he sits there with sopping pants.

But basically I feel like we are really on our way.

It got me thinking. I have always been so low key and mellow with him about the continued diaper use and I really tried not to get crabby about it. Maybe I should've been a little crabbier sooner!

When I started getting a little crabby with him about him not cooperating and saying something like, "Ok fine. You can put the diaper on yourself then." And, then walking away. He started getting the idea that I would be happy if he did this potty business and I wouldn't be as happy if he continued with the diapers.

Shea needed to see the down side of the continued diaper use, perhaps waiting to see what the direct consequence was going to be before he was going to try.

When we had that final major melt down recently and I just basically MADE him do it, screaming and crying all the way, afterward it was like the penny dropped. He finally got it. This wasn't so bad and mommy really, really wants me to do it. OK!

Interesting.

TMI - Potty training - chapter 42

I think there was some sort of break through today on the potty training front. Dare I say that?

Forgive me the excessive detail. Now would be the time to click away if you don't want to read way too much about #1 and #2 and the mishaps there of.

Bye! Come on back now, ya here?

Ok. So, Shea has always been sort of constipated and I swear he poops perfectly spherical "rabbit pellet" type little offerings. It isn't always but quite often.

Well, today I had him running around in "Cars" big boy pants and while I was on the phone he ran up and said, "I poop, mommy." I got off the phone immediately because O MY GOD, MY KID IS TELLING ME HE HAS TO GO POOP!!!!!

He heads over to our standard "diaper changing area" but I steer him to the bathroom instead. Reluctance, wouldn't sit down, didn't want the pants pulled down, didn't want me to just get them out. Tears. Real tears. Full blown horror-of-horror crying jag.

I just persevered and steered him next to the toilet and had him get up on the little step stool facing away from the pot, all the while screaming his head off, not struggling and fighting but definitely expressing his displeasure.

I literally rolled his rabbit poop pellets directly from him pants right into the toilet and it was over. Took 4 seconds. I kept repeating stuff like, "See, that wasn't so bad. That was really fast. It's all done now." And, we flushed it away.

We washed his hands and I put a little cool water on his face and just got him to calm down.

I wasn't really sure what had just happened.

But, later I noticed him hunkered and asked him if would like to go poop again and he said yes and trotted to the bathroom where a slightly larger, more impressive rabbit poop rolled in the pot.

He said, "That wasn't so bad. That didn't take very long." Proud high fives.

Then, as we were sitting there I noticed how I sure needed to clean that toilet, so I did. Shea sat down on the little potty seat with his underwear on and read a book while I was cleaning. Yes, you guessed it, inevitably he peed. He peed in the potty seat! Sure, his pants were sopping but he did it!

Quite a roll today. Just have to keep it going.

Bitchy Mama: a Sunday at the homestead

Was is the sun? Barely recognizable to our drizzle addled brains.

Was it heat? True NW'ers start whining anywhere above 75 degrees.

Maybe it was just the pure freedom of a day with no "have to dos".

I was actually in a great mood. The garden thrives. The sun is shining. The birds are signing.

Yet, the kids managed to fight, argue, squabble about every little thing. Nothing was ok today.

I found myself mitigating and playing the serial facilitator all day with not many happy lasting outcomes.

Shea has gotten good at crying bloody murder whenever he doesn't get his way. I mean, really, like he has severed a limb. Jake and I come running and it's because Molly wants to climb the rope ladder even though Shea was doing something totally different, a good distance away. Or something equally eye-ball rolling.

About a dozen of those sitations and bitchy mommy comes for a stay.

I tried something different with Shea and his reluctant big boy pants issue. I took off a poopy dipe and thought ok, he is going au natural for the rest of the day.

He did not like that. Every other kid in the world would revel in the nakeness but not Shea. He misses the support or whatever. So, I told him he could wear big boy pants but he didn't like that idea either.

That is about when bitchy mommy walked away and left the whiney, pouty progidy by himself on the backporch to grump by himself. I sort of toss over my bitchy shoulder, "Ok. If you don't want to wear them, that is fine with me. See ya!"

I timed it. It took 3 more minutes of solo-grumping then he put the big boy pants on HIMSELF and trotted down to the backyard to receive my exuberant praise.

We are so pathetically behind the 8 ball as far as potty training goes so that little incident is actually a victory. I have had several open, planning discussions with Shea about how we are going to say bye-bye to dipes after school is out. We are saying hello to big boy pants for the summer. He seems skeptical.

Potty seat?

Under pressure, Shea mentioned to one of his teachers that he was scared about "falling into" the big potty.

Ok. Maybe he was just saying something to get her off his back. Or maybe he really feels that way.

I have tried a "potty seat" before. You know, the contraption that sits on the regular seat and makes it smaller and more comfy, less precarious. But, Shea didn't have much interest other than disdain or down right disregard for the "prop" and it ended up going away back to Grannie's where it came from.

But, today being Thursday, after dropping off Molly and a friend at the skate park for "girls only day", Shea and I went to Grannie's, our local thrift store, to do a little shopping. Sure enough, in the toy area I spotted a "potty seat" and thought; what the heck? What do I have to loose?

I didn't make a big deal about it. I didn't talk about it. I didn't wave it around in the attempt to make it look enticing. I just sat it on the big potty and left it there.

Sometime after dinner, Shea found it and has been sitting on it all evening. No. He is not sitting on the big potty but the potty seat is "under" Shea where ever he happens to be. At this time, he is parked on the "potty seat" in a green wingback chair playing on PBSkids.org.

You know it has been a tough, long potty training road if I consider that a small victory but somehow I do.

Potty training update: It's not happening

I had high hopes before our trip. Shea and I went to TARGET and bought several packages of the coolest little boys underwear I had ever seen. Who knew they came in such cool colors and designs! I wish I could wear them! He seemed somewhat excited at the time, especially the Kung Fu Panda ones but it didn't really last. He can take them or leave them. Mostly leave them.

Shea doesn't seem effected by what his peers are doing. Couldn't care less that the other little boys have big boy pants. He's joyously oblivious.

In Hawaii, I figured he could run around on the beach with big boy underwear and, you know, feel the difference. But, it ended up raining a lot more than anticipated and we spent a lot more time inside. Cleaning up too many puddles in a rented beach house does not a good guest make so we went back to the pull ups.

So now, here we are, back to our life, routine and the reluctant piddler.

When you ask him if he has to go, he will say no. Always. He doesn't want to sit down. Really, really doesn't want to. Gets sad about it. Will cry if I force him to sit. Forcing him and making him cry can't be a positive thing.

I try to reason. I beg. I thought I could use a reward system. At first, I started with candy and that wasn't good enough to break through the barrier. Now, I tried the computer, "Shea, you need to try to potty before you can play on the computer." Just try! That is all I ask. But, this isn't really working either. He just doesn't "get" why he should have to do this. Like I said, very reluctant.

Jake is trying the man-pow-wow standing method with not much success so far but it has shaken up the dynamic. At least he doesn't have to sit down on the dreaded seat.

In all honesty, I am loosing faith here. Is he ever going to get there?

It makes me wonder if he can't feel it? I wouldn't even ponder such a thing if he didn't have the "low tone" situation going on in his mouth and lower face. Maybe he has a "low tone" bladder? He seems to have plenty of feeling in his "willy" AKA "little fella", "favorite muscle group", "johnson". But, I doubt willy and potty have much to do with each other.

My OT mentioned that it may be psychological or emotional. He just doesn't want to. And, there is no way to force him. Therefore, we shouldn't. Ok. So then what? Just ignore it until he decides he wants to? In a way it makes sense but I worry we aren't doing the right thing.

She is trying to pull together a couple of names to contact. We'll see.

Potty training update: "I'm pooping."

Well, the update is that there is no update. We have sort of regressed a bit on this front and I am trying to remain calm and low key.

I felt that Shea was getting stressed out by all the focus before the winter break and we decided to just let him be. I think it was a good decision because he has started to be quite forthcoming with potty details.

"Shea, honey, what are you doing?" I holler.

"I'm pooping." He responds.

Gotcha.

This is new. He used to hunker down out of the way, contemplatively do his bizness and then needed to be chased down for a change. Now, he not only tells me what is going on, with words even, but he will tell me when he wants a change.

He will say "wet" and head over to the diaper zone in the morning when he gets up. And, will ask me to change his pants after he poops. He still is very reluctant to sit on the potty chair and will only try it right before bath despite a chocolate bribe. He doesn't have the patience to just sit and wait and will say he is done, step into the bath and then will go. I wonder if that means he just doesn't have the muscle control yet?

Shea will be 5 in April. When am I allowed to official panic? When should I seek "professional help"? Whatever that is. If we back off will he regress further or just figure it out in his own way? Are we enabling him and we should just buckle down?

Food diary

I started another food diary for Shea today. We did this before, when we found out about the allergies. For 3 days, you write down everything he eats, any comments and what the...um...output is like.

He has been on the Gluten, etc. free diet for about 6 months now and over all things have been going very well. His attention span and focus is much better and he is attempting to talk more but still has articulation issues.

We are over the initial shock and have actually gotten used to this new life. But, he just doesn't seem to be able to regulate. He is constipated one day and then has exploding diapers the next.

How is the poor little chap going to figure out potting training with that sort of upheaval?

I want to go in and see our Naturopath again, give her the food diary and see if she has any input or suggestions.

What are we missing?

Potty training update: wahoo!

Shea stumbled downstairs sleepy, blurry eyed this morning. We settled into the usual huggies, snuggies and the diaper change; in that order.

Hold it! Dry pants! Unprecedented.

So I steer/cajole into the bathroom (or as my wacky friend Casey calls the"pee kitchen") to settle Shea down to contemplate the joy and comfort of the potty chair. We read a book...he said "all done" and ta da!

He did it folks! The first morning piddle! I know this may seem a lot of excitement for not much piddle but after all he is 4 1/2 and over here we are celebrating. Now if we can just stay consistent and keep at it.

The other day the OT predicted within 6 months. "Wow!" I exclaimed, "From your mouth to the ears of the potty god! I hope you are right!" She looked a little nervous then, like I might hold her to it. But, apparently she was right. He is less reluctant these days although it is still hard work to get him interested.

If we can just establish a pattern or routine. For example, we have been sitting down to have a potty as we get him ready for a bath. It seemed like a natural. Who doesn't have to go when they hear the tub fill up? So, Shea has pulled that off a couple of times. So, now if we go for every morning when he gets up maybe that will get us a little closer to the goal.

Hurray! Baby steps...

Potty training

This is one of the posts that I have been writing in my head for a very long time. It's a tough one to start. This is one of the those posts that Shea will be mad at me about in 10 years.

Potty training was one of my concerns I brought up when we took Shea to UW CHDD last spring. I was looking for any ideas, support, tips, direction on helping with this. Because, you see, Shea still has very little interest and he is 4 1/2. He isn't inspired by "big boy pants" and doesn't find sitting on the potty all that life affirming. He seems fine with mom or dad taking care of the mess, thank you very much.

Due to his language difficulties, he never really had a word for potty and has never expressed himself when potty was happening. Sure, he hunkers down when he is working on the business of poo but that is a "during" sort of thing. Probably too late at that point.

And, then the food allergy issue comes up again. Because we have been struggling with his allergies and food issues, he isn't necessarily very "regular". So, there is that difficulty too. Although, we have been known to bribe with M&Ms. At least he can eat chocolate.

All the specialists say, "Oh...boys...he isn't ready...don't push too hard." Good advise, so we don't but he sure seems happy to continue on as we are. Meanwhile, we are REALLY ready to let it go.

CHDD did hook us up with some direction the TEACH method for potty training used for autistic children. Even though, nobody seems to think Shea is autistic because of his non-verbal language issues, they suggested this method as a good one to try. It breaks down the process into many little steps where direction, support and reward can happen at each step.

The Developmental Preschool is helping and we have included potty training in Shea's IEP. I didn't even realize we could do that but Bubble lady suggested it. She said she has had several kids include it in their IEP therefore the school must work on it with the child. Although, Shea's at school only a few hours a week, it did make us feel more supported and that we weren't all on our own on this one. Although, we are still have a long way to go.

So, I wish I had more supportive suggestions but I don't. In fact, I hope someone has suggestions for me.