Saturday, February 28, 2009

Potty training update: It's not happening

I had high hopes before our trip. Shea and I went to TARGET and bought several packages of the coolest little boys underwear I had ever seen. Who knew they came in such cool colors and designs! I wish I could wear them! He seemed somewhat excited at the time, especially the Kung Fu Panda ones but it didn't really last. He can take them or leave them. Mostly leave them.

Shea doesn't seem effected by what his peers are doing. Couldn't care less that the other little boys have big boy pants. He's joyously oblivious.

In Hawaii, I figured he could run around on the beach with big boy underwear and, you know, feel the difference. But, it ended up raining a lot more than anticipated and we spent a lot more time inside. Cleaning up too many puddles in a rented beach house does not a good guest make so we went back to the pull ups.

So now, here we are, back to our life, routine and the reluctant piddler.

When you ask him if he has to go, he will say no. Always. He doesn't want to sit down. Really, really doesn't want to. Gets sad about it. Will cry if I force him to sit. Forcing him and making him cry can't be a positive thing.

I try to reason. I beg. I thought I could use a reward system. At first, I started with candy and that wasn't good enough to break through the barrier. Now, I tried the computer, "Shea, you need to try to potty before you can play on the computer." Just try! That is all I ask. But, this isn't really working either. He just doesn't "get" why he should have to do this. Like I said, very reluctant.

Jake is trying the man-pow-wow standing method with not much success so far but it has shaken up the dynamic. At least he doesn't have to sit down on the dreaded seat.

In all honesty, I am loosing faith here. Is he ever going to get there?

It makes me wonder if he can't feel it? I wouldn't even ponder such a thing if he didn't have the "low tone" situation going on in his mouth and lower face. Maybe he has a "low tone" bladder? He seems to have plenty of feeling in his "willy" AKA "little fella", "favorite muscle group", "johnson". But, I doubt willy and potty have much to do with each other.

My OT mentioned that it may be psychological or emotional. He just doesn't want to. And, there is no way to force him. Therefore, we shouldn't. Ok. So then what? Just ignore it until he decides he wants to? In a way it makes sense but I worry we aren't doing the right thing.

She is trying to pull together a couple of names to contact. We'll see.


Holly Nappi Collins said...

I know it sounds like he won't ever get there, but he will.. I agree about not pressuring him because it will backfire and take longer.. I've seen it happen too many times.

My son never had this problem but he did sleep with me until he was about 10--eek, I thought he would never sleep in his own bed--ever.. But he did and all is good!!

Shea's Mom said...

I think you're right. We are just going to back off.

Heidi on Vashon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heidi on Vashon said...

I was going to try to offer advice, but then, every child is different. You have my empathy!

wrongshoes said...

How old is he? (forgive me, I just got here)

My DS was really resistant, too, but I just stopped putting diapers on him, and eventually he figured it out. I think it really helped that he could see himself peeing when he got the urge. After a few months of peeing on the floor, he eventually decided going in the toilet made sense. Of course, you can only do that method if you don't have carpet.

Shea's Mom said...

Shea will be 5 April 20th.

I think you are right, W shoes. As the weather gets warmer, I will just roll up the wool carpets and let him go for it. At least then it will be up close and personal.

Until then, I have decided to back off. This is something he is just going to have to help with and I can't make him. Unfortunately!

Thanks for the advise.

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