Tuesday, February 24, 2009

On selfishness

Humans are selfish creatures. We're born selfish; Me, me! Want, want! Now, now! These are pretty basic feelings and we can't be blamed too much for them. Is good parenting basically the attempt to curb that voracious selfishness in our children?

I guess as parents we certainly see it up close and personal while reciting the parent's verbal loop; No hitting or kicking, say please & thank you, that is not yours, wait your turn, those are not nice words, etc.

And what about us adults? Are we selfish too? You bet, many of us. Honestly, I am a pretty selfish person. I am selfish about my time. I know this and admit this about myself. Although becoming a parent sure put a real kink in it. I still am selfish but not able to express it as much.

Remember that sweet baby that someone entrusted to you at the hospital? Who is this kid? Is it really mine to take care of? It doesn't have an off switch! Something new blooms from that realization. I am no longer and will never be really 100% in control of my life situation ever again. In fact, it's not even about me anymore! Then you become distracted while you busily try to calm a screaming infant.

That is parenting for you; a crash course in selflessness. And, being a parent of a special needs child? Even more so.

I like to visit other Special Parent blogs. It never ceases to amaze me the bravery and vision, the honesty and hope, the patience and, yes, the selflessness. Some of these blogs inspire me so much that I list them on my blog so that I can easily keep track of these amazing families. I encourage you to visit them too.

Parenting is a tough job, a selfless job. The rewards are plentiful, resplendent and soul warming but nebulous at times.

I do think as parents, special or not, it is natural to want to pave the way for our kids. We want to open up doors of opportunity that will light a fire for their happy futures. We all want the best possible life for our kids while taking into account their skills, challenges and aptitudes. Whether you are trying to get your kid into an excellent college or trying to help your kid to hold a paint brush. It is all relative.

This we have in common with every other parent in the world, throughout time. Our common thread with humanity.


Holly Nappi Collins said...

This is such a nice post. You are right, we all have a connection no matter who you are parenting. And sometimes you have to be a little selfish to be a good parent, too.

Shea's Mom said...

Thanks Holli,

You are always very supportive. I appreciate it.


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