Thursday, October 29, 2009


What does the word "grind" bring to mind?

I think of coffee first and then a tool called a "grinder" and then the sandwich.

Never do I think of a simulated sexual act preformed fully clothed in a room full of people at a school dance.

Or I used to not but now I do.

Remember when a certain 6th grade girl (that shall remain nameless) went to her first dance? We mommys had an eye opening with the 8th grade grinders wowing all the little kids.

I risk being totally bagged for being a prude-y mom because I was such a rascal myself and you would be correct. But, I am not the only one.

The latest editorial in the Vashon Beachcomber, describes it exactly. Apparently the latest high school homecoming dance shocked and horrified enough parents that they get together on a Sunday and discussed how shocking it was! Full disclosure: I was not there.

The only rule for dancing is the girl can't bend over! Wow. Ok. I am not even sure what to say about that.

But obviously it has gotten the conversation going which is always a good thing. And one of the really nice thing about Vashon; we are a good size to have a real dialog in the public forum and can actually have a well rounded airing of an issue.

I guess I am just trying to figure out what is about this that is really bothering me. Is it because they are so young? Middle school does seem young to me; 11 - 13. And, there is a big hormone difference between 6th and 8th grade.

Maybe it's because they are doing this supposedly "private" thing right out in the middle of everything apparently without modesty?

Or is it that we are just letting them get away with too much? How bad will it backfire if we try and lower the boom on this sort of thing?

I guess finally I am afraid of the objectification and how the girls just seem to naturally slip into that role. I find it disturbing. I also want to hand them free condoms and birth control, STD information.

As parents, we are damned if we do, damned if we don't. If we lower the boom, it looks even sexier and if we allow it we are saying ok to sexual behavior in a public place.

So, what to do?

Instead of the Halloween dance tomorrow night, I am taking 4- 6th grade girls "over town" Bowling then back here for slumber party after. There are always other dances.

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