Supreme Court ruled in favor of special ed student to get reimbursed for private school tuition

Hm...I wonder if this will change anything?

Any bets?

From the New York Times:

In a decision that could help disabled students obtain needed services and cost school districts millions of dollars, the Supreme Court ruled on Monday that parents of special-education students may seek government reimbursement for private school tuition, even if they have never received special-education services in public school.

The case before the court involved a struggling Oregon high school student, identified in court documents only as T. A., whose parents removed him from public school in the Forest Grove district in his junior year and enrolled him in a $5,200-a-month residential school.

Although Forest Grove officials had noticed T. A.’s difficulties and evaluated him for learning disabilities, he was found ineligible for special-education services. Only after he enrolled in the private school did doctors say T. A. had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and other disabilities.

While most of the nation’s six million special-education students attend public school, as T. A. did for many years, thousands of families with disabled children, convinced that the public schools lack appropriate placements, avoid the public schools altogether. Instead, they enroll their children in expensive private schools for students with emotional or learning disabilities, and then seek reimbursement.

Busy days

There is a literal tidal wave of activity this time of year. The weather is awesome so dinner and bedtimes has a dangerous tendency to be later and later. Where do the days go?

School activities and end of year parties, 2 pool parties, busking, field trips, skate park party, violin party all within the next week or two!

Add that to it being my seasonal busy time for my job.

In other words, I need about 4 more hours to my day.

I guess, that is my surreptitious apology for not posting for a few days but I will share a few tidbits.

Shea is a talking machine. He is no introvert. He talks all the time now. Articulation is still challenging but he is in there "holding his own" with all the other kids at pre-school. We had delightful Sophia over for a play date on Monday. Once we got over the fact that Shea didn't have any babies to play with and Sophia wasn't particularly interested in trucks and cars, they settled on horses and had a lovely time.

Not sure who I adore more, Sophia or her mom. So, I call that a success!

Just got back from a Special Education Advisory Committee meeting tonight. Some good news on that front. Through the stimulus money coming down but tied to IDEA, there is money next year for a training day for all staff to focus on Special Education issues only; inclusion, curriculum, parental input. We have the summer to develop our plan and can implement in the fall.

In fact, we are developing and implementing a parental survey and feedback form that will be able to go along with that as well.

These are the kinds of things are so helpful and useful. The parents always need more options for healthy input in a positive way. I consider this a win for everyone!

I also found out they are offering something different next year for Kindergarten. A hybrid pre-school/Kindergarten year. Apparently, there is a bubble of kids (Shea included) who isn't quite ready for Kindergarten. They are opening up another class that would be a group of kids who had Pre-school in the AM and then moved to Kindergarten in the afternoon. It is assumed that these kids would do this for next year then have would all have all day Kindergarten the next year.

So, I am really happy. I think that is great for Shea and encouraged that they are open and flexible to adjusting placement offerings for a bubble of kids.

It is one of the things that make me thankful for a small school district. They are able to make micro-adjustments. They don't have the macro infastructure and resources that larger districts have but they are able to really fine tune and devote quality time.

Notice all those are happy, up things!

Maybe my next post will be all the crabby things that are happening lately?

The special bus

Because Shea has an IEP, he is offered door to door bus service for pre-school which is a really wonderful thing. And, because the bus picks him up at my door and I climb on to buckle him up 4 days a week, I have gotten to know all of Shea's fellow bus pals.

There are only 5 including Shea, so it is a lovely little grouping. And, it wouldn't be as lovely without the bus driver, Karen, who has a great attitude and is a calm, happy person to ride to school with.

Sometimes Karen has rock music cranked. She says the kids asked for something "fast" and then they will all be banging out to some classic rock tune. Sometimes the kids are blissing out to Bach or whatever happens to pop up on the local classic station.

I think it is sweet that she is so present with the kids each day. She isn't just the bus driver, she is their friend.

They are all boys except for one girl, Sophia, a little red head. She is the same age as Shea and we have known her since they were first identified back when they were 18 months old. Sophia is the girl who Shea bestowed the only hug of his birthday party on. He just couldn't help hugging Sophia. The best part is that she didn't mind and hugged back.

Sophia has been singing the same song for a good couple of months. "Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly" she peeps, almost not recognizable yet somehow...there it is. Is she watching The Wizard of Oz over and over again? Is she a Judy Garland fan? I don't know.

The kids, after seeing me all year, now include me in whatever happens to be going on. Will I pick up so-and-so's teddy bear. Where is your chicken? Can Shea have a play date?

After I buckle Shea in and climb off the bus, I have this delicious freshly dropped off feeling, I am particularly exuberant.

I stand and wave to all the kids and blow kisses to Shea (and whoever else will catch them) while jumping around like an idiot. The kids find this particularly hilarious and undoubtedly figure I am one of those "fun" moms.

I'm not really, just really glad to see the bus drive out of my driveway.

Shea is included and accepted on this bus. These are his peers, his friends. The years ahead will only get more complicated but the time on this bus makes me feel like they are a team and can take it on together.

Teacher layoffs: it's not about "need" it's about "afford"

I know school districts all around the country are feeling the pain. Teachers are being laid off in record number for next year. All at the worst possible time. Not only is this awful for the schools and most importantly the kids, it is frightening for the local economies.

Teachers don't make high wages in the first place, but it is a good, solid job in these rocky days. Now, many won't even have that.

Our school district is threatening to RIF (reduction in force) 8 or 9 full time teachers for next year. We are a small school district. We already have pretty large class sizes. I can see what is coming down the pike.

Special Education isn't immune.

Last year there were 2 full time teachers for the Developmental Preschool that Shea attends. This program handles 0-3, Child Find, outreach, preschool for 3-6, screenings, testing and IEPs. That is a pretty full plate for 2 teachers.

This year, the staffing went down to 1.5 teachers. Same duties but less paid time to get it all done. Next year there will only be one full time teacher. Guess what? They still have to do all the same stuff.

How could anyone get all that done? Answer: they won't we able to. They will spend less time per child, less time per task and still probably have to bring a bunch of work home. And, then we wonder why teachers are bailing to find other employment.

I understand this is a dollar and cents game. You can't squeeze blood from a turnip, as they say. But, how long can we really afford to continue short changing the kids? And, then put the additional squeeze on the weakest of the bunch?

And, all this from Washington state that won't even talk about an income tax to help pay for the social contract. You know? The commons! The price of living in a civilized society!

Pitiful.

As Americans, we have legally decided that public education is a right. Yet, we still don't pay for it. Why is that? How can we justify the lack of investment?

We can't. There is no justification. It is selfishness and greed clear and simple. We only take care of our own. The others? Be damned. This is the product of the "me first" societal view.

Education is a long term investment. And, if we do not make the effort and sacrifice now, it does not even equate to a gamble but a lost opportunity, never to be regained.

IEP meeting prep

A date has been set. For those of you who don't know, Shea's birthday is April 20th. He will be 5.

The school is supposed to do the IEP meeting at or before the birthday to be completely compliant. Last year our meeting didn't happen until late May. Which was only one of the several problems with Shea's teacher last year which, of course, I covered extensively with this blog post and this one too.

We are much happier with the teacher this year, thank goodness. But, IEP meeting are still a bitch. After going through this a couple of times, I have determined a fledgling routine.

A month out, like right about now, I talk to all the specialists and ask them if they have any suggestions for the school or specifics to add to the IEP. This has been very helpful in the past. Not only do they bring up really good ideas but they give you the edu-speak terminology on how to ask for it. And, oh yes, it is a different language. And, just like in a foreign country; if you can't speak it, you don't get it.

So, I am beginning to pull all that together now. If I time it right, I allow the specialists a few weeks to ponder it and they always come up with very good suggestions.

My big concern this time around is to Kindergarten or not to Kindergarten next year.

I mean he is only 5. Plenty of typical kids, especially boys, don't start Kindergarten until 6 but I don't want him to be bored. Will another year of cutting and pasting and working on his expressive language be dull? In my heart, I don't think so. Why push him ahead when he is clearly not ready. Socially or fine motor either.

I know I am not supposed to do this but when Molly was 5 she was so precociously quick that I knew she was ready. Shea has never been that way. He isn't even writing letters. He knows his alphabet and counts but doesn't write at all. They will expect that in Kindergarten. Why should I push him in there knowing that he isn't ready. Then, again, there is the school of thought that you set the bar high. Kindergarten for Shea next year would be setting the bar high indeed.

Writing and his expressive language delay, some social issues and the complete lack of potty training makes me think another year in the Developmental Preschool sure couldn't hurt. And, will probably be a nice, comfortable place to be while he continues to work on some of this stuff.

So, this is where I try to peel my mother's mind away from my rational mind. Am I making this decision purely to protect him as long as I can? Probably. Will he be bored? Hard to know. Will he fail? Probably but is that so bad? If everything is too easy for him will he never learn to strive? Maybe. If I hold him back will he be the biggest kid in his grade? And, if so will he pick on the littler kids? Hmmm........

This is a perfect example of the ambiguity of parenthood. Where in the heck is that instruction manual? What to do, what to do?

Seattle special-ed teachers suspended for refusal to give test

Wow, just wow! How ridiculous is that? Sheesh...

From the Seattle Times:

The Seattle School District suspends two special-education teachers at Green Lake Elementary for 10 days without pay for refusing to give their students the WAAS (the WASL alternative for special-needs students). The teachers say they're honoring parent wishes and that the test is inappropriate for their students, who have severe physical and cognitive disabilities.

"With any students, but particularly those with special needs, and especially in instances when we have a federal and a state mandate to follow, documentation is essential," Seattle Schools spokeswoman Patti Spencer said.

Stahl and Griffith are teaching partners at Green Lake, with a class of 11 special-education students. Many are far below their various classifications as kindergarten through fifth-grade level. Some are prone to seizures or have respiratory issues.

McKean's son Jackson, 10, has hydrocephalus and uses a wheelchair. In four-plus years at Green Lake, he has learned to feed himself, hang up his jacket and not to scream when he hears loud noises. "My kid is basically the equivalent of a toddler," McKean said. "You wouldn't ask a toddler these questions when they can't do it. ... You wouldn't give a kid a test that is years beyond what they can do."

According to Nate Olson of the state Office of the Superintendent of Public Instruction, the WAAS can be tailored to students' individual needs, but parents and teachers dispute that. Because the test is grade-level-based, they say, it's inappropriate for students with severe cognitive disabilities.

"It's really not a one-size-fits-all for kids," Stahl said. "It doesn't mean we don't have high expectations; we do. They're just not there yet."

She and Griffith first raised concerns about the test last fall, Stahl said, after parents told them they didn't want their children taking the exam. The two teachers wrote the district asking to work together to create a more appropriate test for their children, but received no response, she said.

Many of the children had taken the test the previous year, Stahl noted, and all received zeros. "They're automatically being set up for failure," she said.

When McKean's son was given the exam last year, she said, he just sat there. "He doesn't read or write," McKean said. "... He's just learning how to draw straight lines. But doing a two-plus-two math problem, he doesn't really understand."

When Principal Cheryl Grinager directed the teachers to complete the required exam preparation, they refused — again, Stahl said, in deference to parental wishes.

Fighting over the shrinking pie

I had a real time phone conversation with a fellow special mom met through my blog earlier this week. How is that for the amazing world of the internets? You know who you are, honey.

After listening to the trials and tribulations of advocating for speech therapy from the state she lives in, it started me thinking.

Here we are, all of us fighting for tiny slivers from this shrinking pie. This untenable situation forces parents to fight with the schools and their states for services, schools have to fight with their states for more funding, meanwhile states beg for more federal funds to pay for the appropriate services. Talk about a vicious cycle. The long and the short of it, no one is really getting all they need.

Bubble lady, our beloved speech therapist, mentioned one time about how most of the special ed dollars go to the highest needs kids. Is this fair? Yes, they are the highest needs kids! But, when it comes to the higher functioning kids, the ones who could really use more speech, or some additional OT just don't get it. The dollars are already gone. Does this mean that special kids are competing with other special kids for services? You bettcha. And, that sucks.

I feel for these people that have to say no. What a horrible job. They know, know with all their hearts, that early intervention is the way to go and will save untold bucks down the road. But, the bucks just ain't there. Should that stop a parent from fighting? Hell no. If a parent doesn't fight for their special needs kid then no one will.

The ones who say no, at least they are intellectually honest, but I have heard stories about condescension, real road blocking and laying the blame at the parent's feet by school or state officials! This is unconscionable. And, a signal that it is time to start documenting EVERYTHING and start thinking like a lawyer.

There is help out there. And, when I went looking, I was impressed with what I found.

The Disability Rights Advocates:

DRA is a non-profit legal center whose mission is to ensure dignity, equality, and opportunity for people with all types of disabilities throughout the United States and worldwide.

DRA's national advocacy work includes high-impact class action litigation on behalf of people with all types of disabilities, including mobility, hearing, vision, learning and psychological disabilities. Through negotiation and litigation, DRA has made thousands of facilities throughout the country accessible and has enforced access rights for millions of people with disabilities in many key areas of life, including access to technology, education, employment, transportation and health care.

The National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities:

We are the center that provides information to the nation on:

• disabilities in children and youth;
• programs and services for infants, children, and youth with disabilities;
• IDEA, the nation's special education law;
• No Child Left Behind, the nation's general education law; and
• research-based information on effective practices for children with disabilities.

Both these organizations have pages and pages of information, contacts, phone numbers and background. Way more than any special parent would ever have time to look through but the info is there waiting. I find relief in this fact. There are people out there, lawyer critters, that work on these sorts of issues every day. You, me, we; are not alone.

So, how much should you know backwards and forwards and commit to memory? Not much. Only as much as is relevant to your particular situation and the extent of your free gray matter. But, some of these terms and contacts may come in handy if you ever have to write that formal letter to the school or state. You don't have to be a lawyer to sound like one or know the law like one.

Playground angst

And, so it begins... I know it's rough out there. I remember it myself. Kids just know instinctively how to press those buttons. And, making fun of your little brother would naturally be a hot spot for Molly.

Yesterday, one of her little friends or classmates called Shea a "retard". She was being baited. Who knows what the surrounding conversation and/or antics were like. Perhaps Molly was spinning pretty fast and needed to be taken down a notch or two. It probably doesn't matter that much. The fact is that she trembled with rage at the obvious cruelty. She struck out and hit the girl with her coat. Well, I expect they got the reaction that they were seeking; anger. Sometimes Molly seems unflappable and I expect they were just trying to get a rise. Well, they did.

We talked it all though last night, of course. Shea has a speech delay and is learning to talk. There is no evidence of retardation at this time. Molly knows this but it doesn't really matter. Perhaps they weren't factually correct but Shea is "special" and someone was making fun of him for something he or we have no control over.

Fierce loyalties will always create a chink in our armor. People instinctively know this, even children. But, would I have it any other way?

I remember when I was quite small, 1st grade or so, my father told me to always stick up for my little brother. I must've listened or maybe it's hardwired because one day I caught wind of him being picked on by bigger boys on the playground. I charged right out there to protect my little brother (a kindergartner) and got into a scuffle and popped the boy in the nose.

Blood, the principals office; the whole 9 yards. I remember it vividly, the principal asking why I hit the boy. "Because my dad told me to protect my little brother." I replied and can still see the bemused expression on the adult's face. I didn't really get in trouble that day. I knew I was justified.

This is a tough one and it will come up again. It did bring up a good conversation about exclusion and how the special kids are treated at school. She's a sensitive little thing and picked right up on the injustice, the discrimination.

The world can be an ugly place, baby. Let's take that bruise and turn it into a shield.

Transitions, outreach and what do the kids do after school?

I just got back from another one of those Special Education Advisory Committee meetings. Why are these meetings always held in the evening? I find it particularly ironic when we parents should be home, you know, parenting.

Anyway, it was another interesting meeting. Since we are just getting this committee up and running, tonight we elected a chair and banged through some housekeeping. But we did have some time at the end to bring up our individual issues of concern.

This is where all the administrators look kinda scared as a parent member begins to speak. I am afraid this is illustrative of the "defensive crouch" that many school districts exhibit concerning special needs issues.

One parent brought up the question of transitioning from elementary to middle to high school: what is the procedures and practices and how can we make it go smoother.

I thought this was a very good point. Transitions, whether they are throughout the day, from day to day or year to year, are big deals for all kids let alone kids with special needs. Our director of special services brought up examples of how these transitions were handled and all the hard work that staff does before hand to make it go smooth. And, the point of the discussion ended up being; the parents just don't know. They don't know what all is done, behind the scenes, to help facilitate a transition. And, that parents basically feel out of the loop.

This has been my experience too. I think that staff and administration are so nervous of "Special Parents" they tend to deal with them on a need to know basis. If the parent needs to know something legally or makes a point to ask they get the information but it isn't readily available. Now part of this is due to the wide range of needs for the children within a school district. It could be very difficult to make blanket procedural comments. But, my thought is: well then tell the parents that as well. More information for a parent is always better than not enough.

My pet concern is expanding communication channels to the community. Because of the "defensive crouch", the school district may think "no news in good news"; meaning no lawsuit or group of organized pissed off parents. I would like our school district to be proactive and reach out to the community with positive information about the programs and services offered. There are moving success stories that take place every single day and sharing these could greatly improve community perception of the program. This should not be ignored.

I pointed out that we are a small "high touch" community and that the school district should be singing it's praises more. We should be tooting our horn when appropriate and welcoming special needs family into the fold. I mentioned that if a family had a bad experience early on with the special ed program, chances are we have lost them for good. I would hope we could repair some of that lost goodwill and invest in more community involvement. I also feel that by being proud of how we take care of our special kids, we can emulate empathy and tolerance to the community at large.

Another parent brought up the issue of after school activities for special needs kids in middle and high school. Many of these kids may not be able to do sports or other activities after school as a typical kid. They are out of school early and what do they do? There was discussion of some sort of after school tutoring, reading time, game playing, or social time which could be available but of course the old funding bugaboo reared its head. Although, there may be various grant opportunities or mentoring possibilities that we can pursue.

All good stuff. Feel free to add your own.

The IDEAL School

I wish we had a school like this for Shea. The longer I swim in the Special Education ocean I am realizing that a kid like Shea will probably fall right through the cracks in public school.

Budget short fall: education taking a whack

Here in Washington state we are staring a big budget shortfall in the face and it ain't pretty.

It looks like our Democratic, public education supporting Governor is going to have to cut public education by a cool Billion. Yah, that is Billion with a B. From where I sit they should be increasing the public education budget by a billion not cutting it. But what do I know? I am just a parent who is up close and personal with public education everyday.

I don't blame the Gov. States have a legal obligation to balance their budgets every single year unlike the Fed's who just borrow more money from friendly and not so friendly governments abroad.

But, when we really talk about investing in America what does that mean? Does it mean new infrastructure and roads? Or does it mean raising future citizens that will be tax paying, productive participants in the society?

Heavy sigh and roll my eyes. So, here we go again. I sure hope we can figure out a way to avoid this cut. Like maybe take a good hard look at all those corporate tax exemptions and other goodies that Boeing and Microsoft get! Or, drum roll please, how about state income tax!

I can hear the collective gasp. But, I would like to know who pays for a civilized society? Wrong, not someone else. You, me and everybody! We pay for a civilized society and dab-blame it, a strong, healthy, supported public school system is part of that!

Ok, I guess I have made myself clear. Rant off.

School: when it isn't going well, Part 2

Communication is obviously the key to any relationship. So, when my non-verbal kid started school, one of my biggest worries was he wasn't going to be able to tell me if he didn't like it. Or if he had a problem with a teacher or another kid. I still worry about stuff like that but because Shea is in a Developmental Preschool you would think that the teacher would be sensitive to that issue.

Lesson learned; even though it should be true doesn't mean that it always ends up that way.

I found out Shea was having some problems in school by accident. His teacher described his usual classroom behavior as: anxious, stressed, threatening, angry and that he was "attacking" other students. These characteristics were described in a multiple choice questionnaire that the UW CHDD wanted his teacher to fill out before our full neuro-developmental screen last Spring.

When I got it back from the teacher, I was stunned. There was no explanation attached, no note saying please call if I had any questions, etc. It just seemed odd. I barely recognized my kid from her description.

I sort of sat on it for a while but grew more and more upset and concerned. I gave copies to our private specialists which is when my head popped off my body! Both, OT and Speech Pathologist were equally concerned with the behaviors described and asked for more detail. The UW CHDD was surprised and quizzical about the teacher's questionnaire because it didn't seem to jive with what they were seeing from Shea either.

I figured it was time to ask the teacher directly but I always wonder about the best way to approach a teacher on delicate issues. In writing? So that you can edit, re-edit and make sure you do not offend plus document the issue all in one fell swoop? Or in person, face to face? Over the phone? What really is the best way to do it? I still don't know.

In this case, I called the teacher and asked her point blank. I didn't go very well. She was defensive and dismissive. I suggested it was time to have the IEP review, she suggested bringing in administration staff. Oh boy! This sure mushroomed fast.

So much of life is posturing, this situation was no different. I remember going to the meeting with Jake and there were 6 or 7 to our 2. It would be pretty normal to feel intimidated or out numbered in a situation like that. Oh, and it was plenty uncomfortable but I have a trick to share. Bring a tape recorder. It doesn't really even have to work although if things get really contentious, I bet you would be glad to have the conversation documented. At the beginning of the meeting, quietly whip out the recorder, hit play and set it down in the middle of the meeting table and watch the mood change.

Another good strategy is to go to the meeting with suggestions, so you aren't just complaining but offering solutions too. My suggestions were; I wanted a different teacher for Shea the next year and I wanted consistent communication from his current teacher for the remaining of the year. I suggested that I would put a spiral notebook in his backpack and if any of this "angry, threatening" behavior occurred they were to document the situation in context so that I could reinforce appropriate behavior at home. The administration did not like me dictating his placement but they made sure it happened.

And, what ever happened to all that weird, scary behavior that I had never seen before? The teacher never mentioned or documented any additional occurrences. Am I to guess it sort of just "went away"? Good question.

Underneath is all, I think the teacher and Shea just didn't click. Maybe he was a lot more work than the other kids or they didn't particularly like each other. I am realistic. This will happen. But, any teacher still needs to hold to appropriate standards and practices. If they don't, it your right and responsibility as the parent to call them on it.

Call it parental advocacy. Call it squeaky wheel. Call it what you want but no one else will do it for your kid. After all, you are the expert on your child, sometimes you have to be aggressive.

School: when it isn't going well, part 1

Even in the best school district or the school in the world sometimes it just doesn't go very well for your kid.

I remember learning about an idea called "disequilibrium" in relation to child development. The theory being that approximately ever 6 month the kid just naturally goes "bonkers"; acts out, fights back, regresses, pushes buttons, or basically causes the parents untold amounts of worry and stress. Somehow they sort of grow out of it or as they say work through "a phase" and then for 6 months all is dandy. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

I think disequilibrium may have something to do with school not working very well. But, there are also a heck of a lot of factors.

Special Education is probably even more susceptible to the up and downs, highs and lows. It could be as simple as disequilibrium or the teacher and the kid don't click. Or the teacher and parent not clicking. It could be unrealistic expectations for student, teacher or parent. Usually no one is really at fault but it may not be going well, none the less. So, what do you do?

First, I think it is really important to state for the record, YOU are the expert on your child. The teacher may be an expert in Early Childhood Development or whatever but you are the expert on your own child. That is valid. Now that doesn't mean you can run ruffshod all over the teachers and staff and make their lives miserable. A parent does need to have realistic expectations for what their public school can do for their child. Notice I say "public school"? Private school is a whole different kettle of fish.

We had a tough year last year and it all finally boiled down to the wrong placement for Shea. He was given a teacher that was much too structured for him, not very maternal and pretty hands off when actually connecting with her class.

It all started badly when I noticed Shea's class was starting before the "special bus" had even arrived. Our developmental preschool is blended with special and typically developing peers mixed together. So, when the special kids arrived they had no time to transition into the classroom setting yet the teacher insisted on starting at exactly 9:05. Yes, there were melt downs a plenty. Not to mention the fact that the typical kids are sitting there like "good little children" while the "special" kids were not so much.

Now, I only knew this because I rode the special bus with Shea for a while because he was nervous and not ready to go on the bus by himself. No transition time for a 3 year old was a big problem for us. I talked with the teacher, didn't get very far but I got around this problem by skipping the "special bus" and dropping Shea off myself a little early with the typical kids so he could have time to transition.

I consider this particular situation a victory because I was able to go around the problem and make sure my kid got what he needed. Sometimes it's just not so simple.

I guess when it comes to public school it means picking your battles. If you are going to go to the mat on an issue it better be important because you aren't going to have the emotional or physical energy to fight each one. Weigh it in your mind, think on it, don't do anything rash. Can you get around the problem? Can you solve it by yourself? Can you shed some light from the outside? Is there someone you can ask for help on the inside?

Many families do decide to pull their specials kids from public school. I think it's a shame. But, you make the decision kid by kid and decide what is going to be the best for them. Often these are gut wrenching choices.

As our bad school year went on, I couldn't help but chat amongst friends and acquaintances. I found out pretty darn quick that my concerns with the teacher were not isolated or even unique. In fact, I started to run into families who specifically pulled their kids from the public school system because of this teach. Sigh.... That isn't good news to hear anywhere. In a small town it is even worse.

So, what do you do? I did a lot of fretting, spinning my wheels, yabbering at my GGF. (Good Girl Friends) Frankly, I didn't know what to do. I kept close watch on my non-verbal 3 year old kid wishing he could tell me how he liked school or not. But, he couldn't and didn't. I found out that he was having problems in class not from the teacher but from a questionnaire.

The "special" bus

I have a love/hate relationship with the "special" bus.

On one hand, I think that fact that the school district will literally pick your kid up at your doorstep and drop them off from school is a wonderful thing. I absolutely love our bus drivers! And, I make sure to give them particularly fabulous cookie assortments at Christmas time and continually thank them profusely.

Although, we live so close to the school that it really is more about how much Shea loves to ride the bus rather than needing a ride to school. But, I do think about other folks, far flung in the community who really must need and appreciate the "special" bus. There might be kids who wouldn't necessarily participate in the Developmental Preschool if the transportation wasn't part of the equation.

For us, the buses are the smaller van sized versions. All the seats have either seat belts or harnesses and there is usually room for wheel chairs. All the kids on the bus are "special" to some extent and, for us, there is actually a pretty good little social dynamic going on.

Ok. That's all the good stuff and there is probably more I am overlooking right now.

But, there is something very distancing about sending your kid off on the bus. You don't get to see how they act as they walk into the classroom. You don't get to see the social dynamic with the other kids. You don't get to see how they interact with the teacher or the helpers. Basically, you are shut out.

I never felt really welcome to volunteer in the preschool classes and I can understand. Most of the kids are dealing with separation anxiety and having a parent hover is only going to make it worse.

I just always felt like I needed to hyper vigilant due to the fact that Shea was non-verbal and couldn't really tell me about his school day. Ok, I have been known to be overprotective at times. I admit it.

Also, "special" parents don't get to know each other because they do not collide picking up or dropping off their kids like the rest of the parents. This has to add to that feeling of isolation. The "special" bus is indeed special but a double edged sword. I feel a heck of a lot more unconnected with Shea's class this year because we do the "special" bus both pick up and drop off.

I have been lucky up to now and have been able to volunteer in Molly's classroom for an hour or so one day a week each year since Kindergarten. I hope that I will be able to do that again with Shea. I guess a lot of it depends on how "mainstream" we can go.

Special Education: infiltrating the system

Special Education is always a touchy subject for the school district due to the ever shrinking funding pie. Frankly, it is a huge drain on the budget. This puts the district in a perpetual "defensive crouch". Anytime a parent is searching for more help, the school district must see dollar signs flying out the window. Alas, this is the result of an unfunded mandate.

IDEA is our nation's special education law. IDEA stands for Individuals with Disabilities Education Act.

"The IDEA was originally enacted by Congress in 1975 to make sure that children with disabilities had the opportunity to receive a free appropriate public education, just like other children. The law has been revised many times over the years."

As a parent of a special needs child, it is your responsibility to be an advocate. Read up, inform yourself about what your child needs, learn the vocabulary and fight, fight, fight. But, I have found that being armed with knowledge may not be enough unless you are a lawyer willing to file suit against the school district. As a tax payer and a community member, the last thing I want to do is strangle the public education budget any more with a lawsuit. Although, in some cases that may be the only way to effect change.

But in this post, I want to focus on a more insidious strategy; infiltration. Most school districts have Special Education Committees or advisory groups. If not; they should. Large districts probably do have some sort of group just because of the volatile nature of Special Ed. Parents should be able to access and approach these groups for information, updates and to express specific concerns. Small districts may not have a group yet for no other reason than it hasn't been pulled together yet. Somebody needs to push for it, maybe that is you?

That is what I am dealing with here on my little island. Over the years, a lot of animosity has grown concerning the issue. Many frustrated parents have just pulled their kids from public school or have moved out of district. Some are threatening to sue. The school district has finally realized that open communication and dialog is a lot better than paying for and dealing with lawyers.

Welcome; the brand new Special Education Standing Committee represented by staff, specialists and parents. Meetings, of course, are in the evenings on a monthly basis. It is still being determined what this group will actually do but the fact that it has been started is a big step forward. I have been asked to be on this committee and the first meeting was last week and I learned something interesting. There are approximately 1,600 students spread out over our 3 schools. Just a tad over 10% have IEPs and are getting services. I guess this is about normal. In fact, if the IEP population goes higher than 12.9%, the state does not reimburse the cost because they feel the district is over-identifying! I expect I will learn a lot being part of this group and will share details on my blog as it comes.

But, let me conclude by talking a little about "squeaky wheels get the grease." No where is this more true than Special Ed. and working with your public school on your child's behalf. I realize we have all been taught manners and politeness and those should not go away. But, assertiveness, laser beam focus and exhaustive repetition are the weapons that the special parent will need and find useful. I am not advocating being an jerk, in fact, please don't be a jerk. Don't give them any reason not to deal with you. Incivility or "jerkiness" could be seen as a valid reason to not deal with you and your child will suffer because of it. Your job as a special parent is to push and push and push some more for the appropriate services for your child. If you keep at it, they can't ignore you. If you squeak, you will get the grease.

And, sometimes that grease could come in the form of being asked to populate a Special Ed. advisory committee. Consider it a battle won in a long war.

School Conferences

I met with Shea's teacher this week for school conferences. Even though he is in the Developmental Preschool, they still do conferences just like the upper grades. I was relieved to see it wasn't a full blown, IEP discussin' meeting. Just a nice little conference about how he is doing so far this year.

First the teacher did a little bit of marveling at how much more focused, social and talkative Shea is this year. It's true; he is really getting to be a big boy and now knows what is really expected of him at school. But, again, the changes since we started the gluten, egg, soy free diet have been profound.

She did say that his fine motor skills are still lagging and would like to have the school Occupational Therapist run the Peabody test again which measures development motor skills.

He is 4 1/2 and although he knows how to spell his name he can't or won't write it. If we help, he will do it. If we make dot, dot, dot letters, he will trace over them himself. He is also having a hard time cutting out shapes with scissors.

He was given the Peabody when he was 3 and being evaluated for his IEP. He just missed getting OT services by a very small amount. If they retest now, he may be able to qualify for OT services at school.

Even though Shea sees his private OT every week, so much of being a special needs parent is fighting for more services for your kid. Whether your fighting the school district to get services or fighting the insurance company to cover services, "special" parents learn to fight pretty darn quick.

In fact, one excellent example of the passion, focus and energy of "special" parents is the film documentary, Beautiful Son. Parent filmmakers tell the story of their son Beau who is diagnosed on the Autistic spectrum. A very touching and indeed a beautiful film, I caught on my local PBS station. Check out the website for a trailer and more information.

Warning: hanky alert!

IEP or Individual Education Plan

I will admit right out of the gate that I HATE standardized testing. I have been a strong critic of "No Child Left Behind" from the beginning and not only because it is an unfunded mandate.

I believe that standardization forces teachers to teach to the test. It also forces kids to learn only what the test asks. I think it stunts creativity and alternative forms of learning for both teachers and students. And, I worry that kids that do not test well view themselves as dumb or unintelligent just because of a test score. I wish with all my heart we could go back to a more well rounded curriculum and that teachers were encouraged to bring their own creativity and interests to lesson plans instead of having their job performance linked to how well the kids pass a standardized test. Alas, I fear that the genie is out of the bottle on this.

So, what does this have to do with Shea? Well, when a child with special needs turns 3, the school district makes their formal assessment about need. A whole fleet of standardized tests are given which determine what services will be provided through the school district. They use these tests as a starting point to determine the IEP for the child. By the way, this entire round of testing happens again at age 6 as the child moves into Elementary School.

I admit I probably had a pretty bad attitude as I headed into this testing when Shea turned 3. First, all the testing is verbal. How do you do accurate standardized tests on a non verbal child? Good question but no easy answer. There was a lot of paperwork, checklists and questionnaires for the parents to fill out. The teachers and specialists were very supportive and wonderful, I just didn't have any idea what was coming or how I would react.

A meeting was scheduled to talk about all the testing and Shea's needs. I didn't really realize how hard it would be to sit and hear the results; the tests determined his language at 9 month old, that his IQ landed below average, etc. I remember pretty much crying through the whole thing; I just kept going through tissue after tissue.

My husband was home with Shea during that meeting and silly me, I went alone. Big mistake! DO NOT go alone to an IEP meeting, especially the first one! Everyone, no matter how tough, will need a support person that first time around.

I remember one of the specialists asking me what had happened that made me so upset. Not her words exactly but that was basically the gist. I said, "I guess, I had promised myself that I wouldn't freak out until Shea turned 3. Now, he is 3 and there is no way for me to deny it anymore." In a word, I was freaking out and the future seemed very dark and scary. They all just sort of sat there looking at me with compassionate, somewhat embarrassed looks on their faces.

It was true. I had tried to stay light, breezy and not over react. I set Shea turning 3 as a threshold for my full scale worry. Well, when it hit; it was fast and furious.

My husband was much more taciturn. He knew that Shea was intelligent and that he would be fine. Was he sad? Yes. Was he concerned? Yes. But, he wasn't a puddle like I was. It's nice to have a rock in the family and he is mine. Love you, honey. XOX

Looking back, I think it took a good month to just come out of that depression fog. I had good friends and support but I needed an expert. I realized that the school would never be able to give Shea the sort of intensive therapy that he would need. They just can't afford it. But, how does one go about choosing a therapist? Hopefully, you have a good friend that can refer you to one, and I want to send out a shout out and a blessing to Sally for helping us find ours.