Kindergarten concert; this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine

Just taking a quick look at the really long buffet table was all the information that was needed.

It must be the end of year Kindergarten concert where a fleet of overachieving parents of 1st children (?) brought enough food for the entire school. Food is a loose description because most of it was sugary, trans-fat, preservative laden crap which looked so damn delicious it was near torture to be around it.

But first the actual concert.

Two different classrooms of Kindergartners were on stage and started off the show with a bang with "This little light of mine" which sort of seemed gospel-y and somewhat religious but I decided I just wasn't going to go there.

They took turns to sing a ditty or do a little dance. Of course, it was supremely adorable and my hat went off to the music teacher who managed all those kids and kept it fun.

How did Shea do? Well, considering most of the show had to do with singing, he didn't really participate much. Although he did clap with enthusiasm and scan the audience for us. Once he spotted us, he beamed and waved, a little intrigued by all this being up in front of everyone thing.

When he was up there next to verbally precocious kids, I loose all sense of proportion. He seems so darn behind. But, Jake says, "He is right in there in the middle; not the top, not the bottom."

The highlight was the little dance number. Starting out slow, they got into circle groups, put out their hand and made a little merry-go-round then when the chorus started they were supposed to find a wacky pose and freeze. Shea was a bit dazzled and distracted by all the antics but finally got into the swing.

They all took big bows and seemed genuinely thrilled at all the applause as I was misting up from cuteness overload.

Now, back to the table full of trashy food. I guess I am sensitive. It just seems completely counterproductive to bring sugar, sugar and more sugar to these things. Not to mention everything has wheat so Shea just gets tormented. I try and scurry and get him a plate of non-contraband; like the Rice crackers and cheese slices that I brought. But who wants that when all you see is cookies, cupcakes and brownies.

We wonder why we have an obesity problem in this country. Who wants grapes when a brownie is sitting right next to it? Ok, sure, me but not most kids.

Wish it wasn't that way. I remember a teacher putting her foot down and saying no sugary stuff for the kid's parties. Hurrah! Much grumbling from parents who think 3 desserts a day a well adjusted child makes.

NOT.

Anyway, the food storm passed and the kids whirled out of the room for recess. Taking the opportunity to twit a little bit, I was chatting with Shea's para-educator. "Will Shea be ok for 1st grade next year? I am just feeling so scared for him and am now having buyers remorse about going ahead with 1st grade."

She nodded and said, "It will be different but he is ready and it would be a real disservice to him to not let him try it because his academics are there."

Ok then, 3 more weeks of school to go then off with the old and on with the new.

That time of year. Spring? No IEP meetings.

Shea is almost 6. This post is not about his birthday although we will be thinking of that quite soon.

6 is when the public schools crunch each kid with an IEP through all the developmental tests again plus reading, writing and math. They did the whole gambit of testing when he was three and now they will do it again for 6. Boy. Have we learned a thing or two since then.

Every year there is a mandatory IEP meeting near your child's birthday. Incidentally, a parent can request an IEP meeting whenever they want. Anytime you feel you need to share something important with your child's team, you can request a meeting.

But this year it is different. He is 6!

This morning we had the 1st of 3 meetings that will all happen within the next 6 weeks. It was the "intake" meeting asking us what we wanted to focus on, etc. General impressions, comments.

The 2nd will be after all the battery of tests are done and they will go over all the results. That was the one 3 years ago, where they pointed to a chart to show that Shea landed "less than average intelligence" for one of the test. Ugh.

The 3rd will be the IEP meeting that formally puts into writing everything we've decided.

Whew... Epic. No wonder they only do it every 3 years.

It was a lively meeting and several thoughts popped into my brain to share.

Like scheduling. They keep on suggesting 8:00 AM for these meetings! But Shea doesn't go to school until 9:00. So, how are both parents supposed to go to the meeting? The theory being that for teachers to be involved it has to be before school.

I think we all remember the main lesson I got out of doing this whole thing when Shea was 3. Never go to the meetings alone!

So, I gently insisted that 8:00 AM meeting isn't going to work. I suggested maybe it wasn't that important to have the teacher in the room with us at the same time as long as his case worker was there.

Sure enough. We worked around it. The teachers met early and then Shea's case worker and the psychologist met both Jake and I at 9:00.

But now they want to do the 2nd meeting at 8:00 again! Sorry, same answer. How many times do I have to explain this? I guess I don't blame them for asking but "hello?".

I did offer to do it after school and have Molly watch Shea. They probably won't like that but I don't really care! They can figure it out.

Another weird thing, sort of good I guess, that came up is the Kindergarten teacher thinks Shea may be ready for 1st grade next year.

Just as a reminder: the plan was to do another round of full day Kindergarten next year. This year was just a try-out and I was relieved to know that he was going to get another year to work on expressive language and social stuff, etc.

But now they say that there may not be full day Kindergarten next year. So they are sort of encouraging us to think about that but I have mixed feelings.

On one hand I am happy that Shea appears to be at grade level for academics and that the teacher sees him that way. Although all this upcoming testing will really help determine if he really is.

Yet his social skills and some behavioral stuff continue to come into play regularly. I am nervous about sending him off where so much more is going to be expected of him. Worried that he won't be able to succeed, that he will get lost in the shuffle

And, there lies my other concern, maybe I am the one that is holding him back. Maybe we need to push him a bit more, set the bar higher. I mean, so far it has worked out well this year.

Earlier than expected he could be part of the multi-age 1, 2, 3rd program that Molly went through. I know all the teachers. I love the program; it is very flexible and creative. Simply wonderful, in fact. I know the exact teacher. He would be hanging with the big kids and emulating up.

So, we are chewing on big things tonight and for the next few weeks. But I don't have to make it alone. I immediately sent off the news to his OT, SLP for comment with good observations and excellent points coming in as I write.

Oh, and another thing; the teachers say he raises his hand repeatedly in class to answer questions!

Team Shea

An informal IEP update meeting happened yesterday morning. It was really just a meet and greet with the new kindergarten teacher, a new Para educator, a new SLP for grades K-5. Plus the old favorites; the preschool SLP, the ESY teacher, the case manager and the principal.

Quite a turn out.

It went really well.

They always act like they are afraid my head might pop off my body but when they realize that I am not going to cry or yell it usually settles down.

I really think it is going to be fine but I will watch real close the first few weeks. Because he is going to have AM Kindergarten and afternoon Preschool, it leaves over and hour for lunch time, recess, rest time between classes. They are going to do a little social skills teaching during that time too. Now that I write it all down, I expect they will whip through that hour with no problem.

The 4 special kids will be together in the same class which a very experienced, beloved teacher and they will get a Para educator for the whole morning in class and during the lunch transition.

It could be really good. Or it could be a horror show. When I found out they have 50 Kindergartners at recess at once, I started to get nervous. He really gets way too cranked up at recess and the more people there are makes it even harder. I am afraid the hitting and stuff will pop up again.

So, that may have to be adjusted and I felt like I was able to say that I may want to take a re-look after a few weeks.

But, all and all, I was pretty pleased with how caring and responsive they were about Shea. Setting off on the right note.

Tuesday morning will just be an open house so we will just go and visit and hang out for as long as he wants. Then the big first full day is Wednesday.

Good thing we live so close, I think I might hover a bit more than usual for the next month or so.

Busy days

There is a literal tidal wave of activity this time of year. The weather is awesome so dinner and bedtimes has a dangerous tendency to be later and later. Where do the days go?

School activities and end of year parties, 2 pool parties, busking, field trips, skate park party, violin party all within the next week or two!

Add that to it being my seasonal busy time for my job.

In other words, I need about 4 more hours to my day.

I guess, that is my surreptitious apology for not posting for a few days but I will share a few tidbits.

Shea is a talking machine. He is no introvert. He talks all the time now. Articulation is still challenging but he is in there "holding his own" with all the other kids at pre-school. We had delightful Sophia over for a play date on Monday. Once we got over the fact that Shea didn't have any babies to play with and Sophia wasn't particularly interested in trucks and cars, they settled on horses and had a lovely time.

Not sure who I adore more, Sophia or her mom. So, I call that a success!

Just got back from a Special Education Advisory Committee meeting tonight. Some good news on that front. Through the stimulus money coming down but tied to IDEA, there is money next year for a training day for all staff to focus on Special Education issues only; inclusion, curriculum, parental input. We have the summer to develop our plan and can implement in the fall.

In fact, we are developing and implementing a parental survey and feedback form that will be able to go along with that as well.

These are the kinds of things are so helpful and useful. The parents always need more options for healthy input in a positive way. I consider this a win for everyone!

I also found out they are offering something different next year for Kindergarten. A hybrid pre-school/Kindergarten year. Apparently, there is a bubble of kids (Shea included) who isn't quite ready for Kindergarten. They are opening up another class that would be a group of kids who had Pre-school in the AM and then moved to Kindergarten in the afternoon. It is assumed that these kids would do this for next year then have would all have all day Kindergarten the next year.

So, I am really happy. I think that is great for Shea and encouraged that they are open and flexible to adjusting placement offerings for a bubble of kids.

It is one of the things that make me thankful for a small school district. They are able to make micro-adjustments. They don't have the macro infastructure and resources that larger districts have but they are able to really fine tune and devote quality time.

Notice all those are happy, up things!

Maybe my next post will be all the crabby things that are happening lately?

IEP meeting prep

A date has been set. For those of you who don't know, Shea's birthday is April 20th. He will be 5.

The school is supposed to do the IEP meeting at or before the birthday to be completely compliant. Last year our meeting didn't happen until late May. Which was only one of the several problems with Shea's teacher last year which, of course, I covered extensively with this blog post and this one too.

We are much happier with the teacher this year, thank goodness. But, IEP meeting are still a bitch. After going through this a couple of times, I have determined a fledgling routine.

A month out, like right about now, I talk to all the specialists and ask them if they have any suggestions for the school or specifics to add to the IEP. This has been very helpful in the past. Not only do they bring up really good ideas but they give you the edu-speak terminology on how to ask for it. And, oh yes, it is a different language. And, just like in a foreign country; if you can't speak it, you don't get it.

So, I am beginning to pull all that together now. If I time it right, I allow the specialists a few weeks to ponder it and they always come up with very good suggestions.

My big concern this time around is to Kindergarten or not to Kindergarten next year.

I mean he is only 5. Plenty of typical kids, especially boys, don't start Kindergarten until 6 but I don't want him to be bored. Will another year of cutting and pasting and working on his expressive language be dull? In my heart, I don't think so. Why push him ahead when he is clearly not ready. Socially or fine motor either.

I know I am not supposed to do this but when Molly was 5 she was so precociously quick that I knew she was ready. Shea has never been that way. He isn't even writing letters. He knows his alphabet and counts but doesn't write at all. They will expect that in Kindergarten. Why should I push him in there knowing that he isn't ready. Then, again, there is the school of thought that you set the bar high. Kindergarten for Shea next year would be setting the bar high indeed.

Writing and his expressive language delay, some social issues and the complete lack of potty training makes me think another year in the Developmental Preschool sure couldn't hurt. And, will probably be a nice, comfortable place to be while he continues to work on some of this stuff.

So, this is where I try to peel my mother's mind away from my rational mind. Am I making this decision purely to protect him as long as I can? Probably. Will he be bored? Hard to know. Will he fail? Probably but is that so bad? If everything is too easy for him will he never learn to strive? Maybe. If I hold him back will he be the biggest kid in his grade? And, if so will he pick on the littler kids? Hmmm........

This is a perfect example of the ambiguity of parenthood. Where in the heck is that instruction manual? What to do, what to do?