Middle school orientation

I have been dreading these middle school years for my oldest. They were tough, rocky years for me and I sure didn't want that for her. Some stuff they just have to go through, that is for sure. Can't protect them forever, even though you want to.

Last night was the orientation for the parents; a Q&A with teachers, administrators and, best of all, some of the middle school kids.

The principal assured all us involved parents that they still want parental volunteers. Please, please, volunteer. So that was nice to know.

They had coordinated a panel of mentors, who were 7th graders, to discuss the 5th/6th grade transition. They stood out front and met (shaking hands! and surprisingly good grips!) with each parent as they arrived giving them an agenda of the evening. It was a little disconcerting to see kids that I had known from our multi-age class (1st, 2nd, 3rd grades) wearing make-up and curving out.

Each mentor took a turn talking about a fear as they were transitioning into 6th grade and a hi-point. It was the cutest darn thing I have seen in a while. Nervous giggles, wiggling feets, embarressed, blushing cheeks but managing to be really poised all the while.

Fears:

Couldn't find their class, getting lost
Not being able to open their locker
Getting picked on, bullying
Too much homework
Not being able to make friends
Having to get up really early

They assured us that non of their fears came to pass. Except having to get up early! Middle school and high school starts at 7:36 AM!

One kid said she used to want to stay up late and nagged her parents to be able to. Now, she says sleep is sacred and she willing goes to bed at 8:30. Yow!

Hi-lights:

Band
Changing classes
New friends
Fun teachers
Cool electives
Dances

Everything, I suspect, a parent would want to hear. But, it was a very sweet look into their heads and hearts.

I shook hands with a particularly engaging Humanities teacher, "I think we are going to get along just fine." I gave him a thumbs up sign.

I think/hope we are going to be just fine.

Dazed and amazed

I am still in shock.

Yesterday, I received a letter from McMurray Middle School informing us of upcoming parents and student orientations, etc.

There has to be some mistake! How did I get on this list? Double take! Miss Molly? Are you going to be in 6th grade next year?

Oy!

After the initial disbelief wore off, I noticed that McMurray seems to have the "big transition" well planned. The middle school counselor visits all the 5th grades classes a couple of times, middle school teachers and band director come to enthuse about how darn cool it all is. There are multiple visits to the school for the kids with next year's 7th grade mentors. And, of course, the parents Q&A evening; "7:00 PM sharp, do not be tardy".

Am I freaked, nervous, jittery? Yes, I am. Why? I am trying to put my finger on it.

There is a general unease about the middle school years in general. Sex, drugs, depression, dangerous behaviors. I remember it well. But, these are more general worries about the age group, less to do with my specific kid.

I do certainly have "my specific kid" worries too. One thing, she is one of the youngest kids in her class. Academically, it has never been a problem. Socially? Maybe a bit. Hard to know. She is resilient and seems to bounce back but there is social stuff going even now that she doesn't seem to fathom. Is it necessary? Maybe not.

Teasing? Bullying? Sort of. But, she sees things very pragmatically. "So-and-so is being nice now. She is not so mean anymore." She feels it is safe to be friendly with that someone now. I think about the manipulative nature of kid-kind and cringe for the inevitable slap.

We certainly can't do it for them. Not that I haven't tried. But, I do vow to be present and aware of what, who and where she is spending her time.

I had a little too much unsupervised time when young. Did I take advantage and pursue risky behavior? You bet your bippy!

Jake kids about being one of the fathers rocking on the front porch with a shotgun waiting for his darling "pumpkin" to get home from a dance. Aside from the shotgun, it is not that far from the truth.

The pendulum does swing back. Both Jake and I had plenty of freedom during those years. We have seen the naughty up close and personal and we have decided that it isn't going to be that way for ours.

This too may backfire. Yet another parental leap of faith, I fear.

Peeking at another world

I went to pick up Shea early at his morning pre-school today. He goes to this adorable little Montessori school Wednesday and Thursday mornings 9 - 12. This was partly a move toward my goal of having him spend more time with typically developing peers. Plus, honestly, I just needed some time in the mornings to work and get stuff done.

For the most part it has worked out pretty well.

Transitions can be hard for any kid and Shea is no different. So, I have taken to arriving a little early so that we can spend 10 minutes or so walking in the forest trails surrounding the school and just chill before I have to bundle him back home, get him changed, feed him lunch and get him ready for the special school bus to pick him up for afternoon pre-school at 12:30. Whew! No wonder he has a tough time with that transition! It is a bit of a whirlwind.

Usually by the time I arrive all the kids are running around top speed outside for "recess". Shea will spot me and, on good days, run up to me yelling, "Mommy!!!" with a big hug. Sometimes, it isn't so nice; tears, being in trouble for hitting, taking a time out, etc.

When Shea is really worked up physically or excited, his verbal capabilities just seem to shut down. What he might be able to express when calm and relaxed just can't come out when he is cranked up. So, we have had too many melt downs right at the end of recess when I am about to take him home.

Eureka: I would rather forgo a few minutes of alone time for a calm, peaceful kid at pick up time.

So, like I said, I arrived earlier than usual today and got to sit inside and watch the class in action which I had never really done before. If you do not know, Montessori basically has the belief that you should be responsible for yourself, choose what you want to do, pick up after yourself and follow the rules of the school. I thought it was a pretty good fit with the very structured Developmental Preschool model that he has in the afternoons.

Shea was sitting down and eating his snack with another little boy. There were kids sitting down with the teacher talking about what birds they have seen. There were several kids choosing to do something else, like work on a tower, hang out in the play kitchen, etc. All was calm and happy.

I guess I was struck at how engaged Shea seemed. Even though he was eating his snack, he seemed to be listening to everything that was being said by the teacher. He seemed interested and in good spirits. He smiled and was happy to see me when I arrived. He seemed to be part of the whole. When the teacher asked him to tidy up his snack spot, he went and got a little broom and dustpan and swept up the crumbs without complaint. (!)

By this time, it was time to go. I did a little zipper help with the other kids and then the teacher decided that they could all come on the trail walk with us. I could tell that Shea liked the idea but that it was a little frenetic with all the kids running and jockeying for the lead. We went with the pack and then split off on our own so that we could capture that sweet, quiet chill spot that seems to happen when it is just us together.

So, with all the ups and downs, I think the AM school is a good fit. I think I will ask for another year of Developmental Preschool for next year and push Kindergarten off. I think we will continue with the morning pre-school as long as it still feels right.

Isn't that how it goes? Instinct. It's really the only thing we have to go on sometimes.