Showing posts with label GGF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label GGF. Show all posts

Monday, October 19, 2009

UCLA Study on women's friendships and stress!

This is so interesting! Hat tip to my gal pal, Judith, for bring this to my attention.


I knew that having a good girlfriend was therapy but come to find out its like drugs! Good drugs!


UCLA STUDY ON FRIENDSHIP AMONG WOMEN
By Gale Berkowitz

A landmark UCLA study suggests friendships between women are special. They shape who we are and who we are yet to be. They soothe our tumultuous inner world, fill the emotional gaps in our marriage, and help us remember who we really are. By the way, they may do even more.

Scientists now suspect that spending time with our friends can actually counteract the kind of stomach-quivering stress most of us experience on a daily basis. A landmark UCLA study suggests that women respond to stress with a cascade of brain chemicals that cause us to make and maintain friendships with other women. It's a stunning find that has turned five decades of stress research, most of it on men, upside down.

"Until this study was published, scientists generally believed that when people experience stress, they trigger a hormonal cascade that revs the body to either stand and fight or flee as fast as possible," explains Laura Cousino Klein, Ph.D., now an Assistant Professor of
Biobehavioral Health at Penn State University and one of the study's authors. "It's an ancient survival mechanism left over from the time we were chased across the planet by saber-toothed tigers.

Now the researchers suspect that women have a larger behavioral repertoire than just "fight or flight."

"In fact," says Dr. Klein, "it seems that when the hormone oxytocin is released as part of the stress responses in a woman, it buffers the "fight or flight" response and encourages her to tend children and gather with other women instead. When she actually engages in this tending or befriending, studies suggest that more oxytocin is released, which further counters stress and produces a calming effect.

This calming response does not occur in men", says Dr. Klein, "because testosterone, which men produce in high levels when they're under stress, seems to reduce the effects of oxytocin. Estrogen", she adds, "seems to enhance it."

The discovery that women respond to stress differently than men was made in a classic "aha!" moment shared by two women scientists who were talking one day in a lab at UCLA. "There was this joke that when the women who worked in the lab were stressed, they came in, cleaned the lab, had coffee, and bonded", says Dr. Klein." When the men were stressed, they holed up somewhere on their own.

I commented one day to fellow researcher Shelley Taylor that nearly 90% of the stress research is on males. I showed her the data from my lab, and the two of us knew instantly that we were onto something." The women cleared their schedules and started meeting with one scientist after another from various research specialties. Very quickly, Drs. Klein and Taylor discovered that by not including women in stress research, scientists had made a huge mistake: The fact that women respond to stress differently than men has significant
implications for our health.

It may take some time for new studies to reveal all the ways that oxytocin encourages us to care for children and hang out with other women, but the "tend and befriend" notion developed by Drs. Klein and Taylor may explain why women consistently outlive men.

Study after study has found that social ties reduce our risk of disease by lowering blood pressure, heart rate, and cholesterol. "There's no doubt," says Dr. Klein, "that friends are helping us live." In one study, for example, researchers found that people who had no friends increased their risk of death over a 6-month period. In another study, those who had the most friends over a 9-year period cut their risk of death by more than 60%.

Friends are also helping us live better. The famed Nurses' Health Study from Harvard Medical School found that the more friends women had, the less likely they were to develop physical impairments as they aged, and the more likely they were to be leading a joyful life. In fact, the results were so significant, the researchers concluded, that not having close friends or confidantes was as detrimental to your health as smoking or carrying extra weight!

And that's not all! When the researchers looked at how well the women functioned after the death of their spouse, they found that even in the face of this biggest stressor of all, those women who had a close friend, confidante were more likely to survive the experience without any new physical impairments or permanent loss of vitality. Those without friends were not always so fortunate.

Yet if friends counter the stress that seems to swallow up so much of our life these days, if they keep us healthy and even add years to our life, why is it so hard to find time to be with them? That's a question that also troubles researcher Ruthellen Josselson, Ph.D., co-author of Best Friends: The Pleasures and Perils of Girls and Women's Friendships (Three Rivers Press, 1998). "Every time we get overly busy with work and family, the first thing we do is let go of friendships with other women," explains Dr. Josselson. "We push them right to the back burner. That's really a mistake because women are such a source of strength to each other. We nurture one another. And we need to have unpressured space in which we can do the special kind of talk that women do when they're with other women.

It's a very healing experience."

Taylor, S. E., Klein, L.C., Lewis, B. P., Gruenewald, T. L., Gurung, R. A. R., & Updegraff, J. A. Female Responses to Stress: Tend and Befriend, Not Fight or Flight

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

GGF and her snazzy camera

Gal pal, Deirdre, came over with her sooper-cool, expensive, intimidates the heck out of me camera and took some pictures around the old homestead yesterday.

Darling kid shots and the near unveiling of Jake's newest little building: the garden shed/kid's playhouse/chicken closet intimately snuggled next to the gardn. Obviously we are packing a lot in a 6x12 space.

See that building? The top is a deck! Or it is going to be! We will be able to check out the garden and Mt. Rainier and the fireworks on the 4th (hopefully).

Welcome to King County, where you do not need any building permits for a structure 200 sq. ft. or under. Hence the continued perfecting of the science and art of small buildings.

That's Jake alright and he does a mean little building. Do you want one? That can be arranged.

And, wow! Look at how cool the garden looks from the heights! Sweet! Also, just to be clear, it is COMPLETELY deer fenced because nothing would survive without the 7 ft. fence to keep bambi and her relatives out.

Thanks for documenting it, gal pal.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Sanity = good girl friends

I have found over the years that my mental health is directly proportionate to my good girl friend quotient or GGF. I love my husband and I literally tell him everything but this can not replace the GGF. I am not talking about a quantity thing; this is not about "lots of friends". This is a quality thing. In fact, if a woman has one real GGF in her life than I consider them a lucky person.

How does it happen? Organically. So many adult relationships seem to be comprised of adjacency; kids around the same age, living nearby, commute or working together, hobbies and interests in common. Our lives are busy; it all has to make sense. GGFs are no different.

I remember I was freshly pregnant with Shea, just a couple of months, barely showing but feeling sick and excited. I decided I had to start walking and getting some exercise. One of the downsides of my beautiful little island that I am lucky enough to live on is I do a lot of driving. Long gone are those days of walking to the grocery store and to do neighborhood errands. That went away when we left the big city and came to our little rural oasis.

The long and the short; I was really getting out of shape. And, now I was pregnant at 39 to top it all off. That frightening reality got me out the door and I started walking in the morning after I dropped my daughter off at Kindergarten. I walked alone for a month or two; spontaneously ran into another mom here and there but didn't really have a walking buddy.

I remember I was hanging out waiting to pick up Molly and a woman said to me, "I see you out there walking. Good for you." I sincerely asked her if she would like to join me. As luck would have it, she was quitting her job to be around more for her Kindergartner who happened to be in Molly's class. We commented on the obvious adorableness on each others children and she took me up on that walk.

We walked every morning all through my pregnancy. And, you know, that exercise did help to get the old body back even after a C-section.

5 years later, we still walk almost everyday. But let me be clear; this is not just exercise. This is therapy. This is a bull session, coffee clatch, stitch and bitch all rolled into one. This is about girl time to kvetch, whine, ask advise, get pats on the back. This is sanity, pure and simple. I miss it physically and mentally when we don't walk. And, as our endurance has increased, we puff and moan less as we climb hills; an honest to goodness friendship has grown.

We were lucky, our politics and and interests coincided nicely. Of similar age, going though many of the same things; we filled the walks with stories and comparisons, sagas and tributes. I respected her mind, accomplishments and perspective. Let's just state it simply; it was a good fit and now I can't imagine her not part of my life.

Time goes on; even more quickly now. Our kindergartners are in 5th grade now, getting ready for middle-school (gulp). Yet we have no problem filling our walk time with plenty of new comment and conjecture. And, yes; we ask others to join us. We try to share this little piece of magic we have developed together.

So, hats of to the GGF! What would we do without them? If you are lacking, then cast about, she is out there; waiting for you to extend a hand. You never know who will become indispensable in your life.
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