I bought it on E-Bay

Sorry folks!

But, my kid, the one that talks all the time vs. the one that doesn't talk all the time, has been singing this song non-stop for 3 days straight.

I may be able to blame my blogger's block on this song. Maybe not.

Who knew Weird Al had such a splendid voice? Really hits it out of the park with this one.

Enjoy!

Tummy sleeper

Shea sleeps on his tummy, always has. I remember as a newborn, suffering from the hormone cocktail running through my bloodstream, I tried hard to get him to sleep on his back. They always scare the heck out of you with all those stories about SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and the real or mythical link to tummy sleeping. Fresh motherhood is not a rational time. Fear runs rampant and worry is at the forefront, right next to exhaustion.

Shea and I set up in our nice big bed and pretty much kicked Jake down to the pull out couch. This lasted for about 6 months. The theory being; one of us should get some sleep and be coherent to take care of Molly.

We got into a pretty good grove. Shea just slept with me and I would just roll over and nurse, change him and try to get back to sleep. Everything I needed was within arms reach. I remember it as a very cozy time. But, I did spend a lot of time listening to him breath while I was trying to get back to sleep.

If Shea slept on his back, he would spit up, sort of choke and make these gagging noises. It was terrifying. I tried shifting him to his side which would help but he would roll back to his back and gag again. I had those little "baby shims" or "wedges" that would prop him on his side. Sometimes it helped but they would get dislodged or misplaced and then I would awaken to Shea choking again on his back.

Another unusually thing about Shea when he was a baby; he would spit up through his nose! I have never, ever heard of this before and it raised some serious eyebrows at his appointments. Later when we were trying to troubleshoot his speech delay, they were concerned about his pallet because of this and sent us to the Craniofacial Department at Seattle Children's Hospital. This is where they do all those amazing cleft pallet surgeries. But, for Shea it wasn't a cleft pallet and it just ended up being a shrug-shrug interesting anecdote about his infancy.

Finally, after quite a bit of time, I would just put him to sleep on his tummy and he would breath much better. And, we all slept better. Of course, I felt guilty and remember being remorseful when asked by the doctor at one of his check ups.

To this day, he sleeps on his tummy. When I go in to wake him in the morning, he will be on tummy often with his tush in the air. And, I do have to say he sleeps like a brick. Once he is out, he is out. Cozy.

Speech Therapy update

It was one of those early Spring days that gets your blood and all the little buds on the trees all worked up. Getting up to bright blue skys, brilliant sun, not too cold and warming up by the minute is a rarity in the Northwest at this time of year. And, a day like this is treasured like loot.

By the time, Shea and I were on our normal Friday Speech Therapy run to Seattle to see Bubble lady, we had shed our coats and were just soaking up the rays on the ferry boat.

A nice day for a nice report. Bubble says that she is impressed at the extent of Shea's language and sentence structure. Huh?

For example, he said to her while holding up a beloved Lego contraption, "I brought this for home." She didn't seem concerned that he mixed up "for" and "from" but focused on "brought"; a complicated word that is an embedded idea. This is actually a pretty good example of the sort of things that Shea is saying these days. A big whoop for many a kid but a pretty grand leap for Shea.

Bubble said that she is less worried about his articulation which is something I always seem to fret about because it is hard for other people to understand him. But, she said she was impressed with his word choices and the cognitive sequencing needed to "build" a sentence. Huh?

I nod happily because she seems so please but I rarely fully understand what she is saying. Even after all this time. But I absorb what I can and try to parrot it back to Dad and Gramma and friends and the blog. I hope I didn't botch it up totally with all that repeating and reemphasizing.

She asked about plans for Kindergarten and seemed to think Shea was ready. I expect academically he may be but social he isn't there. For example the potty training. I just don't feel good about sending him into a mainstream Kindergarten class when he is no where near being potty trained. It just seems like playing with fire.

I did mention my concern about his "low tone" is his mouth and lower face. Maybe his bladder has "low tone"? She suggested we talk with the normal doctor and if they can check that off first, she has referrals for psychological help for Potty Training. Ok. We can do that.

So, a beautiful sunny day with some positive news and an action item. I'll take it.

Seattle special-ed teachers suspended for refusal to give test

Wow, just wow! How ridiculous is that? Sheesh...

From the Seattle Times:

The Seattle School District suspends two special-education teachers at Green Lake Elementary for 10 days without pay for refusing to give their students the WAAS (the WASL alternative for special-needs students). The teachers say they're honoring parent wishes and that the test is inappropriate for their students, who have severe physical and cognitive disabilities.

"With any students, but particularly those with special needs, and especially in instances when we have a federal and a state mandate to follow, documentation is essential," Seattle Schools spokeswoman Patti Spencer said.

Stahl and Griffith are teaching partners at Green Lake, with a class of 11 special-education students. Many are far below their various classifications as kindergarten through fifth-grade level. Some are prone to seizures or have respiratory issues.

McKean's son Jackson, 10, has hydrocephalus and uses a wheelchair. In four-plus years at Green Lake, he has learned to feed himself, hang up his jacket and not to scream when he hears loud noises. "My kid is basically the equivalent of a toddler," McKean said. "You wouldn't ask a toddler these questions when they can't do it. ... You wouldn't give a kid a test that is years beyond what they can do."

According to Nate Olson of the state Office of the Superintendent of Public Instruction, the WAAS can be tailored to students' individual needs, but parents and teachers dispute that. Because the test is grade-level-based, they say, it's inappropriate for students with severe cognitive disabilities.

"It's really not a one-size-fits-all for kids," Stahl said. "It doesn't mean we don't have high expectations; we do. They're just not there yet."

She and Griffith first raised concerns about the test last fall, Stahl said, after parents told them they didn't want their children taking the exam. The two teachers wrote the district asking to work together to create a more appropriate test for their children, but received no response, she said.

Many of the children had taken the test the previous year, Stahl noted, and all received zeros. "They're automatically being set up for failure," she said.

When McKean's son was given the exam last year, she said, he just sat there. "He doesn't read or write," McKean said. "... He's just learning how to draw straight lines. But doing a two-plus-two math problem, he doesn't really understand."

When Principal Cheryl Grinager directed the teachers to complete the required exam preparation, they refused — again, Stahl said, in deference to parental wishes.

Self medication

Since I am usually blogging to the special parent community, medications may be very close to home. I give a sympathetic nod to those of you working through which and what medications are going to help in your particular situation. My thoughts are with you, Busy Intersection. XOX

Many medications come in little bottles; dazzlingly colorful, mind bogglingly expensive with tongue twister names that your insurance company will probably not cover.

But, some medications can be self prescribed and come in the form of a fruity, slightly tart Chardonnay made right here in Eastern Washington. Or my personal preference, beer.

I am a beer gal; always have been. I am lucky enough to have grown up (post age 21) in a state with one of the first micro brews, Red Hook Brewery. Ahh.... Those were the days. Now, of course, Red Hook is owned by Anheuser Busch. And, that, my friends, may say it all. Needless to say, I don't drink that anymore.

Right now, my personally favorite is Deschutes Brewery, Mirror Pond Pale Ale brewed and bottled in O-so-beautiful Bend, OR.

"Mirror Pond is just a short walk from the Deschutes Brewery & Public House in downtown Bend and reflects the Three Sisters Mountains. This scenic spot alongside the Deschutes River is the locals’ choice for summer festivals and concerts.

The quintessential American pale ale, Mirror Pond elegantly blends the sweetness of malted barley with the bite of hops (which add bitterness and aroma). It's refreshing, loaded with strong hop flavors, and perfectly balanced."

I prefer it on draft but rarely get the chance these days as we have small children and that tends to deter going out much. But, I can certainly live with bottled beer especially if the alternative is no beer at all.

This is where I say, please be responsible about self medicating. Alcohol is highly addictive and the last thing we need, as special parents or any parents at all, is to loose control. Do not drive when imbibing, etc. etc. So, please take care. My personal code is: don't drink until 5:00 PM and then don't go drive afterward. Be safe, folks.

Also, when in doubt, go for quality vs. quantity.

So, if a glass of wine or a couple of brews takes the edge off the hard, hard work you do then so be it! You deserve it.

Cheers!

My son is a cat

Shea always did plenty of verbalizing as a baby which made us all the more confused when the babbling and the words would not come. At a very young age, he developed a pretty impressive variety of squeaks, coos and grunts. He did point, which I guess is a big deal, and was certainly able to get his needs understood through his own means.

When he is tired or in a particularly snuggy mood he makes this sound like a meow or a tuneless keening. Later when he could talk a little more, I asked him, "What are you saying, Shea?" And, he said, "Kitty" I asked him who was a kitty and he pointed to himself.

Now, that he has more control of his mouth and has a wider vocabulary, he actually says that he is a kitty. He tells me that I am the mom kitty and then he lovingly butts his head into me, meowing.

Granted, this is a lovey sound, a happy, cozy cat sound. I remember trying to describe this unusual behavior to the psychologist as the UW CHDD. She was a particularly officious person with a very blank, professional demeanor throughout the exam and testing. I said that he has this specific vocalization for when he is hugging, tired or lovey that sounded like a cat's meow. In fact, he calls himself a cat.

Something cracked in her face and she gave me a genuine, "Aw. How sweet". I was only offering the story as a sample of his relationships and communication skills. But, I remember it vividly and really it was one of the more truly human moments of the experience.

Not only does he talk like a cat, he rubs his head on you like a cat. Now, I know that this has something to do with his Sensory Integration issues but, never the less, he rubs his head or head butts you like a happy cat that wants a pat. If encouraged, he will also crawl around on the floor and "pretend" to be a cat.

It is true that we already have 3 cats whose job is supposed to keep the rodent population at bay. Shea does have a special relationship with them; all 3 and will sit and discuss cat type things with them for as long as they will allow. But, Shea is our favorite cat who gets special favor and treatment as a key part of the family.

Victory gardens

I heard on the radio yesterday that seed sales are sky rocketing. People, normal people, are scratching in the dirt and planting vegetables. Organic produce is expensive, main stream produce is tasteless and nowhere near "fresh". People are making the obvious deduction and saying, "Hey, I am going to try growing some myself."

I applaud this, even if it is a bad economy that pushes them there.

I am not a big gardener although I sure like it when I do it. Something happens when kids come along. Maybe it is the lack of uninterrupted time. So, I haven't really pulled my garden together since Shea came along.

But, I want to. Maybe this year can be different. I usually only plant the stuff I have had previous success with; lettuces, spinach, mustard greens, peas, beans. Yes, I have done tomatoes with varying success. My laziness has pushed me to buy tomatoes at the farmers market because I just can't stand the disappointment.

But, I love to plant flower seeds, easy ones. Nasturtiums, bachelor buttons, allysum: pretty, easy stuff the kids can help with.

When I walk out through my garden patch all I see is the weeds. It seems insurmountable. How am I going to clear a spot big enough for these lettuces? It's hard to start. But, when I grab a garden fork and some gloves and start turning, it goes amazing quick. It is just the starting. In a short time, maybe 1/2 an hour, I have a 4 x 6 plot ready for some lettuces. And, I am all deliciously warm and pink from the exertion. Be careful of your back!

All lettuces and spinaches are cool weather crops and will bolt (go to seed) when it gets to hot. So, plant early. Also I have found doing 2 - 3 successive plantings about 1 week apart is a good way to maximize the harvest.

So, anyway, enough talking about it. I hope to pull this off today. Wish me luck.

Mairi's Wedding

Molly has pretty much polished this one or close to it. And, it only cost me 3 Girl Scout cookies this time; thin mint, a classic.

It got me thinking about who was Mairi? And, how lucky she was to have such a cool song named for her wedding. She must've been something else.

Wiki says:

"Mairi's Wedding (also known as Marie's Wedding, the Lewis Bridal Song, or Mairi Bhan) is a Scottish folk song originally written in Gaelic by Johnny Bannerman for Mary McNiven. Written using a traditional Scottish tune, it was first played for McNiven in 1935 at the Old Highlanders Institute in Glasgow's Elmbank Street. Hugh S. Roberton translated the Gaelic version into English in 1936.

It is also a Scottish country dance, 40 bar, reel time."

Anyway, whatever keeps my girl opening up the old violin case to practice as we move toward the 5 year anniversary.

Keep it up, babe!

Recycling or why I love thrift stores

I have had a long and loyal relationship with thrift stores over the past, say, 44 years.

One of my early memories is being with my mom while she shopped at the "Nearly New" shop in Tacoma, WA. I had to be 4 or 5. I remember they had a box full of toys to keep the kids busy while mom did some shopping. This was way before consignment shops were hip. This was the late 60's and I still remember an absolutely smashing pink Easter dress she got me there one time. I can still see it in my mind with it's go-go style and curiously crazy cuffs.

In high school, about 1980, I decided that I liked that "vintage" look. Which meant anything older than 1960 and worn with black levis. And, of course, I had several different pairs of Converse high tops that I would color coordinate with all my vintage finds. Yep, all thrift store shopping. And, even before "Vintage Thrift Store" became the groovy scene.

There I was again riding the wave just a little before the rest of the pack.

Now? Thrift shops? All the time. For pretty much everything except bras, panties and socks. And, now it's not only economical but it's recycling. When else can you make a political statement while shopping?

Again, we are mighty lucky here on Vashon to have Granny's Attic, a long standing thrift store and the social heart of the island. It is a non-profit who donates all funds to the local health clinic to the impressive tune of over $300,000 per year. Mainly run by granny volunteers and grampa fix it guys, they also offer steady employment to a dozen or more people. Only open 3 days a week; Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, you will eventually see just about everybody there.

I would have to imagine that every household has a "Granny's pile" of things grown out of, unused and/or unneeded. Each of us simply need to bring the bag to Granny's where it will be politely processed and priced and put out for sale. Usually when I drop off a bag, I leave with another bag of treasures too good to pass up.

Everyone in my family gets outfitted handsomely from Granny's. And, if the kids ruin a shirt in a paint class or totally destroy a pair of pants while playing, I don't feel like I need to holler when they only cost a couple of bucks. The same goes for kids furniture and toys. We try not to sweat the small stuff and Granny's helps. Just have to keep the "stuff" rotating through. One person's Granny pile is another person's Granny's treasure. A symbiotic balance.

My husband has been known, at times, to have amazing Granny's karma. What the heck? Well, sort of goose bump provoking stuff like the time we needed vacuum cleaner bags and he went up to Granny's and found a whole bag of the exact kind we needed for $1. Just freaky. He is always coming up with something.

I have spent most of my adult life living pretty frugally because I just never made lots of money. Frankly, after all this time, it is just second nature. I would expect as the the economic downturn continues it will open up this avenue for many, many others. And, with Freecycles popping up all over the world many others jump on the thrifty bandwagon.

So, whether you are an old hand like me or new to this particular treasure hunt: Welcome aboard, thifty thrifters! It's not just second hand anymore, it's recycling!

Finally. Barbie's a real woman!

Education chief favors longer school year

Personally, I think this is a great idea. The only reason why American children have summers off is because our history as an agrarian nation. That is not the case anymore. I like the model of 3 months on and 3 weeks off. This is common all over the world.

The school year covers the whole year and there a 4 real good breaks for travel, rest, play and deeper focus.

I love this idea. What do you folks thing?

From CNN:

Those lazy days of summer may become a thing of the past if the new secretary of education has his way.

Education Secretary Arne Duncan suggests giving incentives to teachers whose students perform well.

Arne Duncan, the Cabinet secretary charged with overhauling America's educational system, is studying programs that keep kids in school longer to boost their academic achievements.

"When I go out and talk about that, that doesn't always make me popular with students. They like the long summers," Duncan said in an interview Wednesday with CNN conducted in the Education Department's library.

But Duncan said American students are "at a competitive disadvantage" because the United States has shorter school years than other countries such as India and China.

"It doesn't matter how poor, how tough the family background, socioeconomic challenges," Duncan said. "Where students have longer days, longer weeks, longer years -- that's making a difference."

Working at home with kids

I have been doing this for quite a while with varying degrees of success. Basically, depending on what you do, it can be a very good thing.

I always felt that I didn't wait so long to have kids so that I could let someone else raise them. But, then again, I never really made the kind of money that justified full time day care.

I was lucky. I was able to cobble together a livelihood by working in the family business and developing a side business along the way. Now it is a way of life.

How productive am I as a work at home mom? I admit that I can get more done in 30 minutes than when I spent 1/2 a day in an office trotting the corporate track. Something about that uninterrupted time. Boy, do you miss it when you are at home with the kids therefore you utilize it, appreciate it.

So, yes, I feel productive but not as organized as I would like to be. Certainly not as professional as I would want to be. I don't wear business clothes anymore. I dress like a mom which is one or two steps above pajamas. My professional image has suffered. What with kids screaming in the background as you're talking services with a new client! But, people are forgiving these days. They understand. They are usually pretty cool. If my crazy, mom-full life bugs them, I am sure they just go somewhere else. This is a small enough market, usually they will be back.

How about the mothering? How is that effected by working at home? This is where the ever present mommy guilt comes in. I have spent a lot of time trying to distract my kids so that I could get some work done. I always feel bad about that. I have to drop whatever I am doing to answer a client's call or deal with putting out a little fire. The kids are second in line in those situations. I try to arrange meeting around the kids but clients are clients. I spend lots of time away when they would rather have me here. I am only so "in control" of the schedule.

I have spent many hours itching to take care of the over flowing in box knowing I can't really do it justice until they are gone to school, camp, preschool, etc. I have had to drag them with me to meetings. By the way, this never, ever really works. No matter how wonderful the kids are. It is just against the grain. Kids are not naturally patient and clients don't naturally hurry. A lose-lose scenario.

I am thankful that I have had this opportunity. I realize what a gift it is. Many kids don't get to see their parents until around dinner time. That is their normal. I am here to make sure they eat breakfast. I have a little time to volunteer in their classes. I am here after school. But, I guess I will need to wait until they are grown to hear what they really thought about it.

It is what it is. I wonder what they will say.

Depression Cooking: Poor Man's Meal

Hey! I'm going to give this a try!

What's for dinner?

We're lucky out here on Vashon because of all the farm stands. I don't go as often as I should but there are many sprinkled around the island and it is really fun to do some shopping road side. They are usually "self service" or "honor system".

Plum Forest Farm is right around the corner from my house. They have eggs, greens, seasonal veggies and organic Turkeys at Thanksgiving time. So, a day or so ago, I picked up a bag of fresh leeks and thought; Potato Leek Soup.

Now, let me say, I am no chef. I love to eat but my culinary skills are basic. I can make soup though. And, Potato Leek is one of my favorites. Unfortunately, I am the only one in my family who really likes my soups. But, sometimes you just have to be selfish and make it anyway. This recipe has bacon in it as a way to get my bacon loving family to give it a try.

Shell's Potato Leek and Bacon soup

8 med. sized organic potatos diced, leave the skins on if you like
2-3 carrots chopped
1 lb. of bacon, sliced into 1 inch pieces
4-5 leeks sliced, greens chopped and discarded
4 cups chicken stock
garlic - 2 or 3 cloves
cream, 1/2 & 1/2 or Rice Milk to finish

Set potatos and carrots into Chicken stock to boil until soft. Meanwhile, saute bacon until crisp, remove from pan. Hold back several tablespoons of fat and throw in garlic then leeks. Saute until limp.

When potatos and carrots are soft, mash slightly, add leeks and stir. Add cooked bacon, stir. And, add cream, 1/2 & 1/2, milk or Rice Milk.

Serve it up hot!

Potty training update: It's not happening

I had high hopes before our trip. Shea and I went to TARGET and bought several packages of the coolest little boys underwear I had ever seen. Who knew they came in such cool colors and designs! I wish I could wear them! He seemed somewhat excited at the time, especially the Kung Fu Panda ones but it didn't really last. He can take them or leave them. Mostly leave them.

Shea doesn't seem effected by what his peers are doing. Couldn't care less that the other little boys have big boy pants. He's joyously oblivious.

In Hawaii, I figured he could run around on the beach with big boy underwear and, you know, feel the difference. But, it ended up raining a lot more than anticipated and we spent a lot more time inside. Cleaning up too many puddles in a rented beach house does not a good guest make so we went back to the pull ups.

So now, here we are, back to our life, routine and the reluctant piddler.

When you ask him if he has to go, he will say no. Always. He doesn't want to sit down. Really, really doesn't want to. Gets sad about it. Will cry if I force him to sit. Forcing him and making him cry can't be a positive thing.

I try to reason. I beg. I thought I could use a reward system. At first, I started with candy and that wasn't good enough to break through the barrier. Now, I tried the computer, "Shea, you need to try to potty before you can play on the computer." Just try! That is all I ask. But, this isn't really working either. He just doesn't "get" why he should have to do this. Like I said, very reluctant.

Jake is trying the man-pow-wow standing method with not much success so far but it has shaken up the dynamic. At least he doesn't have to sit down on the dreaded seat.

In all honesty, I am loosing faith here. Is he ever going to get there?

It makes me wonder if he can't feel it? I wouldn't even ponder such a thing if he didn't have the "low tone" situation going on in his mouth and lower face. Maybe he has a "low tone" bladder? He seems to have plenty of feeling in his "willy" AKA "little fella", "favorite muscle group", "johnson". But, I doubt willy and potty have much to do with each other.

My OT mentioned that it may be psychological or emotional. He just doesn't want to. And, there is no way to force him. Therefore, we shouldn't. Ok. So then what? Just ignore it until he decides he wants to? In a way it makes sense but I worry we aren't doing the right thing.

She is trying to pull together a couple of names to contact. We'll see.

Should we help him or give him a wedgie?

You tell me.

Fighting over the shrinking pie

I had a real time phone conversation with a fellow special mom met through my blog earlier this week. How is that for the amazing world of the internets? You know who you are, honey.

After listening to the trials and tribulations of advocating for speech therapy from the state she lives in, it started me thinking.

Here we are, all of us fighting for tiny slivers from this shrinking pie. This untenable situation forces parents to fight with the schools and their states for services, schools have to fight with their states for more funding, meanwhile states beg for more federal funds to pay for the appropriate services. Talk about a vicious cycle. The long and the short of it, no one is really getting all they need.

Bubble lady, our beloved speech therapist, mentioned one time about how most of the special ed dollars go to the highest needs kids. Is this fair? Yes, they are the highest needs kids! But, when it comes to the higher functioning kids, the ones who could really use more speech, or some additional OT just don't get it. The dollars are already gone. Does this mean that special kids are competing with other special kids for services? You bettcha. And, that sucks.

I feel for these people that have to say no. What a horrible job. They know, know with all their hearts, that early intervention is the way to go and will save untold bucks down the road. But, the bucks just ain't there. Should that stop a parent from fighting? Hell no. If a parent doesn't fight for their special needs kid then no one will.

The ones who say no, at least they are intellectually honest, but I have heard stories about condescension, real road blocking and laying the blame at the parent's feet by school or state officials! This is unconscionable. And, a signal that it is time to start documenting EVERYTHING and start thinking like a lawyer.

There is help out there. And, when I went looking, I was impressed with what I found.

The Disability Rights Advocates:

DRA is a non-profit legal center whose mission is to ensure dignity, equality, and opportunity for people with all types of disabilities throughout the United States and worldwide.

DRA's national advocacy work includes high-impact class action litigation on behalf of people with all types of disabilities, including mobility, hearing, vision, learning and psychological disabilities. Through negotiation and litigation, DRA has made thousands of facilities throughout the country accessible and has enforced access rights for millions of people with disabilities in many key areas of life, including access to technology, education, employment, transportation and health care.

The National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities:

We are the center that provides information to the nation on:

• disabilities in children and youth;
• programs and services for infants, children, and youth with disabilities;
• IDEA, the nation's special education law;
• No Child Left Behind, the nation's general education law; and
• research-based information on effective practices for children with disabilities.

Both these organizations have pages and pages of information, contacts, phone numbers and background. Way more than any special parent would ever have time to look through but the info is there waiting. I find relief in this fact. There are people out there, lawyer critters, that work on these sorts of issues every day. You, me, we; are not alone.

So, how much should you know backwards and forwards and commit to memory? Not much. Only as much as is relevant to your particular situation and the extent of your free gray matter. But, some of these terms and contacts may come in handy if you ever have to write that formal letter to the school or state. You don't have to be a lawyer to sound like one or know the law like one.

Cripes!

Ok, I am not looking for sympathy. I understand that there are great swaths of the Northeast and Midwest that have to deal with loooonnnnnggggggg winters each year. Somehow you manage because you folks are TOUGH! Way tougher than me.

But, this is the maritime Pacific Northwest! You know? Sea level! I know today I wake up to just a dusting and not a big deal. Although, North westerners are particularly stupid about snow and ice driving. So, for someone, somewhere it is a very big deal. But, this is a place that would typically go years without a single flake while this winter we have had record flakes.

Is this what my pal Al Gore was warning us all about? Is this evidence? Are we year by year, tweaking was something so much bigger than ourselves that we are changing climate?

My kingdom for an electric car! With snow tires.

Loosing a child

From the New York Times:

"Ivan Cameron was just 6, a boy with a lovely smile who was born with cerebral palsy and a severe form of epilepsy that deprived him of the ability to walk, talk or feed himself. He spent much of his time in the hospital, sometimes with his parents sleeping on the floor beside him, helping care for what they called their “beautiful boy.”

Loosing a child has the be the hardest, cruelest, most devastating experience to ever happen to a person. My thoughts and prayers go out to the Cameron family and all the other families that have had to go through this excruciating loss.

I am reminded of the profound vulnerability of parenthood. There is no balm. There is no shield. It is the way it is. We all feel the injustice of such an occurrence yet it happens everyday.

I will share a story. Jake's older brother, the shining first born son, was killed in a car accident at the frighteningly young age of 23. Horrible, sad, a sickening loss. Jake was 12 years old. Something like this never goes away. It is part of the family fabric for all time. Jake still mourns and it is part of who he is. Does time help? Maybe but the hurt never goes away. His parents never really got over it. And, who could blame them. There is no getting over loosing a child.

Remember during the Vice Presidential debates? Joe Biden told the story of sitting bedside of his small son who survived the car accident that killed his wife and small daughter all those years ago. He choked up on national television. A wound like that never really heals. I liked Joe Biden before but loved him after that. This is a man who knows what is important in life.

There are many special parents out there living with and struggling with the same challenges that the Cameron family experienced. My thoughts are also with you tonight.

Who does what at your house?

A marriage is a balance. Sometimes a balancing act? Perhaps. But my point is indeed a marriage is a balance.

Over the last, almost 17 years, Jake & I have settled into a balance. Somehow, most of the time, it seems to be working.

I heard somewhere that a good marriage is learning how NOT to open your mouth and speak 20 times a day. Snark? Maybe. I think it means try not to criticize too much, it looses it's impact.

It is usually very difficult to take a peekinto someone's marriage. As if you would even want to! But, here you go, a quick peek into mine:

Who does what at my house:

Banking, bills & paperwork - me
Furnace, plumbing & anything mechanical - Jake
Cars: Buying, servicing, cleaning - Jake
House cleaning - both
Cooking - both
Dish washing - Jake
Laundry - me
Keeper of the calendar - me
Teeth brushing with Shea - Jake
Homework & violin - me
Bedtime stories and tuck in - me
Dealing with spiders & other pests - Jake
Cats - both
Cloths buying for mom & kids - me
Clothes buying for dad - Jake
Grocery Store - me
House repair, fix, remodel - Jake
Doctors, Dentists & specialists - me

Now that I am looking at this list, I guess I am the Organization person and Jake is the Operations person. That actually about sums it up.

How does it work in your house?