Tukwila School District sued; did not protect autistic boy from bullies

My god.

I guess a few school districts will need to be sued for administrators to take protecting kids from bullies seriously.

From the Seattle Times,

"A discrimination suit has been filed on behalf of an autistic former student in the Tukwila School District, alleging district officials failed to protect him from bullying and tried to declare him a truant when his parents pulled him from classes.

The suit, filed Monday in King County Superior Court, contends the man was the victim of almost daily harassment when he was in the sixth and seventh grades by several boys at Showalter Middle School and now suffers from Anxiety Disorder and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

The boys beat up J.B.M., shoved and pushed him, stole his books, slapped, punched and kicked him, hit him on the head with books, called him disparaging names, spit on him and poured liquids on him, the 17-page complaint alleges.

School officials told J.B.M. to stick up for himself and no action was taken against "the bullies," according to the suit.

Officials then took a recess away from J.B.M. when he yelled at other students and used "inappropriate language," the suit alleges.

They also ignored warnings from an education specialist and district psychologist that J.B.M. was the victim of bullying and that the problem needed to be addressed, the suit says.

At one point, the suit alleges, J.B.M. was told not to contact his mother at school."

Potty training update: "I'm pooping."

Well, the update is that there is no update. We have sort of regressed a bit on this front and I am trying to remain calm and low key.

I felt that Shea was getting stressed out by all the focus before the winter break and we decided to just let him be. I think it was a good decision because he has started to be quite forthcoming with potty details.

"Shea, honey, what are you doing?" I holler.

"I'm pooping." He responds.

Gotcha.

This is new. He used to hunker down out of the way, contemplatively do his bizness and then needed to be chased down for a change. Now, he not only tells me what is going on, with words even, but he will tell me when he wants a change.

He will say "wet" and head over to the diaper zone in the morning when he gets up. And, will ask me to change his pants after he poops. He still is very reluctant to sit on the potty chair and will only try it right before bath despite a chocolate bribe. He doesn't have the patience to just sit and wait and will say he is done, step into the bath and then will go. I wonder if that means he just doesn't have the muscle control yet?

Shea will be 5 in April. When am I allowed to official panic? When should I seek "professional help"? Whatever that is. If we back off will he regress further or just figure it out in his own way? Are we enabling him and we should just buckle down?

Withdrawl

Old man winter strikes again with his pals; Sunday night snow storm, power outage and Cable TV/ Internet down.

When the power goes out around here, which it does quite often, Jake swings into action. He prides himself on his preparedness. So, when the power went out at about 9:30 Sunday night, he had a deep cycle battery set up with a reading light for me and the ubiquitous bedroom fan (for white noise) within 10 minutes flat. The power was on by the time we woke up, so he didn't have to do the whole generator thing but he was poised. And, maybe a little disappointed?

I feel very well taken care of.

Now, the cable TV, I didn't miss. Oh sure, the kids really like their two PBS stations. Molly is buried in a book almost non-stop these days and, if Shea has some cars, he is happy man. I did sort of miss my favorite news shows: Countdown with Keith Olbermann and The Rachal Maddow Show on MSNBC but we can certainly live without that for a day or two.

But, the internet hook up...we were down for almost 2 whole days! That was missed. I admit it, I am addicted. I communicate almost completely with my clients via e-mail. I love the automatic paper trail. I felt nervous and stressed, like I was missing something important. What if a client had a question and I didn't respond in good time? See what I mean? But, I also missed my news surfing and info gathering. And, I missed my blog. I felt quite literally un-plugged. Not in a good way.

Jake, who maybe a year ago couldn't even turn on a computer, has discovered Craigslist. So, even he missed the hook up. The kids missed PBSkids.org and a variety of kid friendly websites.

I guess I was the worst hit but I realize that our whole family is firmly part of cyber world and there is no going back.

Not again!!!!!???????

Our tax dollars at work?

Movie review: The Tale of Despereaux

I took the kids to see Despereaux last night and we all really, really liked it. First, the animation was just beautiful, incredible. The movie strayed pretty liberally from the book but we weren't too upset by it. The book had a simplicity and was so enchantingly written that it would have been very hard follow it closely for the movie.

I would highly recommend this movie for old and young alike. The discrimination that Despereaux suffered because he was different from all the others really hit home for me. But, it gets resolved successfully and creates a very good, positive message.

Yes, I would buy this movie and watch it several hundred times with the kids. It also made me want to read the book again, just to see how far they strayed.

Good flick!

Buffalo Chili for dinner

One of my friends called to ask if I would be interested in some buffalo meat. I know, what a weird question to come out of the blue.

But, apparently, the Sacred Earth Foundation (the nonprofit running Ekone ranch) was culling 2 buffalo from their herd as a fundraiser. Both had been raised on organic, sustainable grasslands in Goldendale, Washington. The meat was being butchered and sold through friends by word of mouth only. I was not sure how much meat 2 buffalo gives forth but my friend was getting 450 lbs. to distribute to her friends. And, that was only 1/4 of the beast.

"Ok, sure. Why not?" It sounded like a good cause and I am always up for buying clean, not industrially produced meat. I threw in for 25 lbs. of various cuts; a couple of roasts, some T-bones that are literally 3 inches thick and a whole bunch of ground. In fact, my freezer is packed but I am not complaining.

Tonight is our first night trying it out. The ground is perfect for chili and it cooked up just like beef. It was a brighter, redder color than ground beef and has less fat. So I was careful to use a good splash a olive oil to brown.

Shelley's Buffalo Chili

Olive oil
Yellow onion
Celery
Variety of canned beans of your choosing: kidney, black, small red, great northern white, etc. I like mixing several kinds of beans
2 cans chopped tomatoes
1 can tomato sauce
I packet Simply Organic Chili seasoning packet

Saute onion and celery till limp-ish then add ground beef/buffalo and brown. Add chopped tomatoes and beans then bring to simmer. Add tomato sauce. Add more sauce, water or beer if you like thin chili. Cook for 45 minutes or so.

Serve with grated cheddar cheese sprinkled on top.

2009?

Happy New Year! 2009? Really? It's hard to believe. It sounds like science fiction to me yet here we are.

Thanks and accolades go to David & Sally and their spontaneous New Year's Eve party. Desert pot-luck with Champagne; what a brilliant idea. Jake stayed home with Shea and had an early night. Molly and I went to the shin-dig. Blurry eyed, after the fireworks, we headed home in the freezing rain well after mid-night.

New Year's Day was spent with family at my mom's house. We were all snowed in during our usual meeting day, Christmas eve, so we made up for it in style. The food was fabulous, the gathering was festive and once again I am reminded how much I love my family.

My best memory of the day has to be the serious bonding that is naturally occurring between Shea and his three year old cousin Travis. He talks laps around Shea and has the high energy precociousness that is hard to ignore. A real friendship is emerging. Shea showed Travis the fine art of car racing and Travis shared his Batman obsession. Watching it all, I got misty about those two boys growing up in proximity. They will know each other their whole lives.

Happy Birthday David!

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to my favorite baby brother in the world!

Happy birthday to you! And, many more!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Just adorable

Yesterday, as Molly and Shea had lunch, she commented how adorable Shea was when he made a certain face. I agreed, of course.

Shea made a darn good approximation of "adorable" with Molly prompting.

"Shea, do you even know what adorable means?" she asked.

He thought a bit and said, "cute". Indeed.

Molly was surprised that he knew what it meant. So was I and, again, I was happy and relieved that he seems to be cognitively age appropriate. Whatever that means...

We take it all as it comes. Or try to.

Backyard birdy blogging

When I moved to Vashon from the city, I could not believe how many different song birds were here. Of course, in our old neighborhood of West Seattle we were lucky to get a Robin in the spring. Needless to say, all the song birds were hanging out on Vashon and doing just fine without any bird feeders from me. They had plenty of forage and habitat for shelter; a literal birdy paradise.

At first, I could barely discern the difference between them they flitted so fast. But, I learned to differentiate them eventually and I have been an avid bird seed provider ever since.

I do have 3 cats which is sort of a problem for those ground foraging birds like Juncos and Towhees. I try not to think about it but I do hang the feeders up WAY up high to try and discourage that sort of thing.

The biggest deterrent to keeping those bird feeders fully stocked is the squirrels; just the common old Gray Squirrel we have out here. They aren't fancy but they seem sort of smart and without doubt extremely pesky. They will completely chow down a whole bird feeder full of seed in no time flat. Therefore, the market niche of "Squirrel proof" feeders which I have tried many and no, they are not Squirrel proof. The only way I have been able to keep my birdseed only for the birds is to mount the feeders on something they just can't climb. Seems simple now but there were quite a few years of me trying to hang feeders in my orchard trees. The squirrels won and I lost.

Now all my feeders are hanging from my little office building roof just adjacent to the house. We can watch them feed from the kitchen and I can easily see if they need filling which they often do. The variety is dazzling although I only use Black-oiled Sunflower seed. I have to fill the feeders every other day or so, even though I try to get the biggest feeders that will hold the most seed. I know, it's yet another responsibility in a busy day but such a joyous one.

We commonly get Goldfinches and another finch which is Scarlet. We've had visits from Sparrows, Wrens, Chickadees, Grossbeaks, Flickers and even have a very confused little woodpecker who manages to eat from our feeders. The Swallows come each May as well although they don't hit the feeders. They are bug catchers and love our open field where the bug hunting is good. For me, Spring is really here when the Swallows arrive. We have hunters too; Bald Eagles are commonly spotted riding the thermals way up high above the house. We have some Hawks too that nest in the tall Firs but they are usually shy. Although, last summer I surprised one who was hunting down near my feeders. Raptors gotta eat!

I'm bad, I really should have a full list of bird visitors for all you serious birders out there. Now, that I have done some birdy blogging maybe this spring I will keep better track. And, try to get some better pictures too.

No...tickling...me!

I'm trying as hard as I can to stay out of it. The noise and stomping ebbs and flows, only coming to a peak when someone gets hurt or a line has been crossed. Molly and Shea wrestle, tickle, bug, hassle, badger, provoke, annoy each other unmercifully. All the time. I suppose this is a sibling's job and I try to stay out of it for as long as my frazzled nerves will allow me to. Periodically I holler, "Hey, what's going on?" Silence. And, the cycle repeats itself.

When I hear Shea speaking full sentences (granted short ones) while sticking up for himself, I know that this is as it should be. Molly is Shea's most ardent and beloved teacher and playmate. She can get him to try things that I can only chalk up to hero worship.

I wonder if they will always be friends? Or at least playmates? I remember vividly my brother and I fighting unrelentingly. I remember saying and doing awful, just awful things. I still feel guilty about some of it. But, now I can say that my brother David is one of my favorite people on the earth. I would literally do anything for him. He cracks me up like no one else can and I just adore his positive attitude and generous spirit. I sure hope Molly and Shea will be able to have that unique connection some day.

Molly is 5 1/2 years older than Shea. My brother David and I were 13 months apart. A very, very different dynamic admittedly.

Molly, now 10, is heading into big girl time. The evidence is everywhere. She spent the day searching and downloading pop songs to load onto her i-pod. I don't know any of these tunes but she does, somehow. We spent yesterday watching Mamma Mia, the fabulous musical featuring dozens of Abba tunes that I somehow remember the words to and the perennially sexy Merle Streep. Molly snickered and swooned a little at the romantic bits and has been singing the songs ever since.

I feel adolescence barreling down on me like a steam roller. I know we will somehow get through it but I wonder what it will be like for Shea. Will Molly have any time for Shea anymore? Will her "special" little brother have any room in her day, life, thoughts? It's not her job, I know. But, I sure do appreciate her involvement and it sure would be a different family without her.

The big melt

Well, it has certainly been interesting while it lasted. Thankfully it is beginning to warm up to normal NW temps. Unfortunately, we have a heck of a lot of snow to get through before it really is back to normal. And, it's not happening fast enough for me.

The roads are fine but our driveway is terrible. Jake got stuck 5 ft. from our front door when he tried to go to the store; gravel and slush flying. Ugly. Rain near freezing doesn't really clear it up very fast.

I look out at all my trees and shrubs and wonder if anything will make it through.

By now, I have read about wicked snow all over the country this holiday time and I would not even presume to complain about our pathetic 10 inches. I expect everyone is ready to get back to normal now.

All in all, it has been a wonderful Christmas. Kudos goes to Kathleen and Casey for hosting the Christmas dinner last night. I made the prime rib and mashed spuds, Jake made a truly stupendous gravy. Everything else was yummy including the company. Serious ovation goes to Kathleen's Chocolate/Peanut butter balls. O - my- garsh!

Casey built a big bonfire in his backyard where all were invited to sit and gaze at many "yule" logs piled up. Very cozy and the evening sped.

We have another week of "vacation", at least from school. I think we have enough fun distractionary apparati to keep us going. Molly's favorite gift so far: Calligraphy set. Shea's favorite gift so far: toy cash register.

Looking forward to an interesting 2009; for us all.

And so Happy Christmas...

The addition to the house

I haven't really written about this yet. Probably because it has been part of my consciousness for so long it didn't really seem like news. But, now it really is coming to fruition and I am fit to bust.

When we moved to Vashon, we bought a 1908 "fixer" farmhouse on 5 acres. Our little piece of paradise. Although, it was completely trashed and had a gaping hole in the roof. I was scared to death but Jake knew what he was getting into.Or so he said. The house originally was said to have 4 bedrooms but after Jake took it down to the studs and added brand new wiring and plumbing it ended up a 2 bedroom house. Both downstairs bedrooms turned into needed living space.

Those were back in the days when it was just Jake, Molly and me. Two bedrooms was going to work for us but then the sky opened and dropped little Shea into our midst. We were thrilled with our family of four but had to go back to the drawing board on how to fit all of us into a 2 bedroom, 1 bath house.

Needless to say, we have been talking about a 3rd bedroom with bathroom for quite literally YEARS! At first we were trying real hard to just stay within the footprint of our existing house. Mainly to avoid getting building permits with King County; a particularly tiresome, expensive and frustrating necessary evil. Believe me, if it was possible, we would've done it that way, long ago.

So, big decisions had to be made, the inevitable really. With much thought and discussion, Jake designed a simple rectangle addition that would bump out on the north side of the house. To make sure the proportion worked, he changed the roof lines on the addition, one higher than the other which matched the existing pitch of the house. In the addition we were getting a big master bedroom with 2 walk-in closets with master bath. AND, another 3/4 bath which I lovingly call the glorified powder room. Can you tell we are a bit bathroom starved here at our house?

CAD drawings were pulled together from Jake's design. One thing we did right from the top was hire someone to help us with the permitting process. That was money well spent. He helped us pull together the important info and submitted it to the county. Wait, wait, wait. Denied. Non-conforming septic system. Argh! Thankfully, we found someone to help us with a new septic design and re-submitted it. Wait, wait, wait. This time is went through successfully! Hurrah! The permitting process ended up taking a year and a half total.

We broke ground in March 2008. I thought it was a romantic idea that the addition would happen when the house turned 100 years old. Jake did a lot of the work himself. He did the grading for the foundation, framing, sheathing, drywall & mud, siding and of course, will end up doing all the finish work. We brought in island help for the foundation, roofing, electrical, plumbing, tile work, insulation, painting and flooring.

Well, here it is Christmas eve and all I want is to move into my new bedroom. I was really hoping we would be in by Christmas morning but we won't be. Close but not quite. As I type, we have the last of the flooring happening, the plumber is bringing gas to the fireplace and setting up the new hot water tank. We are ready for fixtures to be set in the little bathroom but it may not happen until after Christmas. It's ok. We have come a long way.

With this addition, we've made the commitment to stay put until the kids get out of school. 15 years or so. Wierd to even think so far ahead but now we all have room to grow.

Molly will finally get her own room and Shea will stay and take over the existing kids room. We get to move downstairs with our own bathroom and closet space. Bliss.

Merry Christmas, indeed.

Christmas tunes at The Vashon Bookshop

Molly played her violin at our favorite bookstore here on Vashon yesterday. The owners of The Vashon Bookshop are so incredibly wonderful and very welcoming when Molly asked if she could play.

This is her 2nd year doing this and her Christmas tune repertoire has grown from last year. She even broke up the pace with a couple of Celtic tunes that she has been working on over the year.

People are always very supportive and encouraging when she plays; they just go about their business of shopping but manage to clap a little after each tune. For Molly, she gets another taste of performance in a low key setting.

I used the time to get some last minute shopping done. Books are always considered a winner under our tree. Jake scampered to the the hardware store for some foul-weather preparedness stuff. Shea zipped around; they have a nice big children's book area with puzzles and toys and many, many books to tempt. It's a very kid friendly place. I can honestly say, I just love it there.

I encourage you to go see them when and if you are in town. And, when you are there, go across the hall and visit Kronos too, a truly dazzling emporium of fun and cool things. Those gals are awesome too.

Simon's Cat - "Cat man do"

Sunday Pot Roast

Thanks goes to my GGF, Deirdre, for making me buy a Crock Pot last year. I bought it for myself, wrapped it up and put it under the tree for Christmas. We are pretty no-nonsense about gifts around here.

I am not a super-duper foodie like she is. Wish I was! Man alive, she is a great cook. Don't even get me started on her crab cakes! But I will admit that Jake and I can make a mighty good pot roast.

From our Crock Pot to yours:

Pot Roast ala' Dillon

Hunk of beef
Onion, diced
2 stalks celery, diced
handful of baby carrots
5 or so small potatoes, cut into quarters
1/2 sweet potato diced
Splash or so of Red wine
Beef Bouillon or stock
Olive oil
1 clove garlic
1 bay leaf
Salt & pepper
Worcestershire Sauce
Simply Organic brown gravy mix or flour or corn starch to thicken

Saute onion, garlic & celery in olive oil until limp. Place hunk of beef in pan and sear each side while veggies are becoming translucent. Splash with some red wine and stir. Place all into warmed up Crock Pot. Add bay leaf, carrots, potato (both sweet and regular) and couple of good healthy tsp. of Worcestershire Sauce and water or beef stock to cover.

Let cook for half way, 3-4 hours, and add a little more wine or stock so it doesn't dry out. Wouldn't want to be short on the gravy. All told, it takes a good 6 hours to cook a pot roast.

When it is done, I add the Simply Organic brown gravy mix to thicken the sauce. You could also use a flour or cornstarch mixture to thicken.

Under cooking a pot roast will be a very sad occasion. In fact, it is literally impossible to overcook a pot roast. So, let it go all day. The beef should fall apart in little strings or my kids won't even eat it.

Bon Appetite!

Ode to a good snooze

Man, I love to sleep. I just love everything about it; the coziness, the comfi-ness, (feel free to ask me how much I love my Sleep Number bed), the wacky dreams and of course, the all important restorative nature.

I used to be able to sleep in late when I was younger but now I wake up at 7:00 whether I go to bed at 10:00 PM or 2:00 AM. Granted the 2:00 AM evenings just don't happen that much anymore but I still wish I could sleep in like the old days.

I am thankful that both my kids sleep well and through the night. It never has been a problem but I remember actively working at it. I remember letting them each "cry it out", trying hard to ignore the crying and the ferocious guilt. But at the other end of it, both my kids sleep like bricks through the night and wake up happy and ready to go.

On a cold winter Sunday I can really appreciate the idea of hibernation. I read recently that pre-industrial Europeans did sort-of hibernate during the winter . With short winter days and long cold nights, it feels natural to go to bed early and then sleep late. Most, if not all, agrarian activities stopped, so there wasn't much for all the farm hands to do. There were the beasts of burden and the family cow or goat, they needed to be tending winter or not. But, in those days they usually lived inside with the people (!)

From the NY Times, The Big Sleep by Graham Robb.

Economists and bureaucrats who ventured out into the countryside after the Revolution were horrified to find that the work force disappeared between fall and spring. The fields were deserted from Flanders to Provence. Villages and even small towns were silent, with barely a column of smoke to reveal a human presence. As soon as the weather turned cold, people all over France shut themselves away and practiced the forgotten art of doing nothing at all for months on end.

In the mountains, the tradition of seasonal sloth was ancient and pervasive. “Seven months of winter, five months of hell,” they said in the Alps. When the “hell” of unremitting toil was over, the human beings settled in with their cows and pigs. They lowered their metabolic rate to prevent hunger from exhausting supplies. If someone died during the seven months of winter, the corpse was stored on the roof under a blanket of snow until spring thawed the ground, allowing a grave to be dug and a priest to reach the village.

The same mass dormancy was practiced in other chilly parts. In 1900, The British Medical Journal reported that peasants of the Pskov region in northwestern Russia “adopt the economical expedient” of spending one-half of the year in sleep: “At the first fall of snow the whole family gathers round the stove, lies down, ceases to wrestle with the problems of human existence, and quietly goes to sleep. Once a day every one wakes up to eat a piece of hard bread. ... The members of the family take it in turn to watch and keep the fire alight. After six months of this reposeful existence the family wakes up, shakes itself” and “goes out to see if the grass is growing.”

Wow, that puts it in perspective for me. No wonder I feel like heading up to bed at 6:30 PM these days; right after dinner with a good book, of course. Ahhhhh.... cozy.

Shea finally gets to sled

Last winter, I knew I was really thinking ahead and actually bought a sled before it snowed. Boy, some smarty pants. Of course, it never did snow last winter and typically I can't even find it now. Where the heck did that go?

When it does snow around here, there is no finding sleds anywhere. All inventory is snatched up quickly, at any price.

We tried to make your own, cardboard and then pieces of plastic but it was admittedly pretty lame. No offense Jake, you gave it a good shot.

Luckily, some well equipped friends came by with 3. My driveway has just enough slope for a low key ride and the kids took it on with gusto. Sledding agrees with Shea. As his new favorite thing in the world it was a little tough when the sleds went bye-bye.

Kudos goes to Lizzie for sharing all her sleds with Molly and Shea especially her brand new one which Shea completely took over.